Tuesday, June 16, 2009
The Leverage-free post @ 6:06 PM
I’m sure you all are bored half to death with me blogging about Leverage, so I’ll give you a Leverage-free post for once. Worried I can’t do it? Me too, but I’m up for the challenge.
You ever wake up one morning and realize you’re free? I had one of those mornings today. I wake up, take a shower, then realize to my happy surprise that I can walk around NAKED, in my own apartment. I know that sounds ridiculous seeing as I’ve lived mostly on my own for the last three years, but I forgot about how nice it is.
I watched porn today, it was LOVELY. I don’t usually even watch porn, but it’s kind of one of those freedoms that you don’t realize you don’t have until you can’t do it. Though on the bad side of the porn, of course I go to xtube cause it’s free, and okay… I love Asians. I prefer Asian porn, and my fetish is probably largely due to the fact that I have yet to be with an Asian woman. Every other race: yes, Asian: no. I have yet to be with a woman with a British accent either, that might explain that fetish as well, but moving on.
Of course I find one entitled something along the lines of Three Hot Ass Asian Lesbians or whatever lame ass title it had, because let’s face it, when God gave out creativity, it usually never ended up being to people that create the titles to porn. So I click on it, and these three fine bitches are on the screen… and then two of them start MOLESTING the other one. And not in the fun way people, like the girl was crying.
Yeah, me plus porn? Not for awhile, that freaked me out. Who actually get’s off on that stuff?
My cats hate moving, it’s kind of pathetic seeing as they’ve all done it at least five times. Poor Phoenix has moved seven times, but you would think they would be used to it by now. They all have decided to find places IN and UNDER my bed to hide, or in the case of Phoenix, she’s decide to curl up on top of me in obnoxious ways that interrupt my internet using.
No Phoenix, the keyboard is NOT your bed.
What’s sad, though amusing, about the whole thing though, is the fact that we had to take a “field trip” to the food/litter box today. It’s in the other room, and they keep following me EVERYWHERE, never wanting to be left alone, so I had to bring them all into that room so they could eat and do their business before going back to being lame and hiding on/next to/under something near me.
I’ll probably be cursing them when they start running around the house like spazzes though, so maybe I shouldn’t be talking.
What I’ve noticed since I’m living alone again, I talk more significantly to myself/my cats. Like, all the time. I forgot I used to do that so much. I just like the sound of my own voice I think, which might be ridiculous because I kind of hate it as a whole, I think I sound like a man.
Another thing I forgot about living alone: why I don’t cook. Because OF COURSE I set off the bloody smoke detector by just trying to cook freaking fried shrimp. I should just stop trying and go order Chinese. But I bought salmon and already had to call my mother to figure out how to cook it, so might as well not abandon my mother’s cooking lesson. Ha.
No I’m being serious, my mom’s a great cook. That gene seems to have skipped me though.
Another thing I’ve realized today, is that I’ve started using ‘bloody’ in everyday conversation, and I blame that entirely on… AH! Almost mentioned it. I blame it on writing from a British woman’s point of view so often. Haha, skated around that one. Or maybe that’s still a failure; let’s pretend it’s not.
But the funny thing about it is, it sounds so FUNNY coming out of my mouth, but I just can’t stop it! The sad thing? If I still had retained my Boston accent, it wouldn’t sound as bad, because I used to not be able to pronounce r’s like the British accent. Boston seems to not have separated themselves from that country as much as they think they have, or tried to hundreds of years ago. We still slightly talked like them.
My accent now is a mix between Boston and Southern. It’s kind of awkward.
Right. So I’m going to go try to make taco’s now, and hopefully not burn down my new kitchen. Pray for me.
Labels: NOT LEVERAGE lol
