Wednesday, July 01, 2009
fuck all of this @ 7:27 PM
YOU KNOW… THIS IS ALL UTTER BULLSHIT.
Nicole refuses to help me strip unless I go to that STUPID Best Buy interview tommorow from 6-9. Yeah well, excuse the FUCK out of me but if I got that job than I wouldn’t be able to go see my family at the end of the month. Who, by the fucking way, I haven’t seen in OVER A YEAR. I would not be able to get that time off, and if that was my only option then no, I wouldn’t go.
But guess what, Mary’s a fucking stripper named Parker now and I need to fucking WORK tomorrow. At 7:30. I don’t have any FUCKING money, I don’t even know if I can fucking afford the bus tomorrow but we’ll see. But I’d fuck off that interview all on my own and go to work tomorrow (who by the way aren’t even supposed to be letting me work until Tuesday night) BUT I’M FUCKING FAT.
And I’m sure you all wonder why the hell THAT’S relivant, but it is.
Since that stupid fucking meth addicted crack whore too my god damn stripper clothes, I don’t have a FUCKING corset.
I’m FAT.
Far too fucking FAT to just wear this damn DRESS and have it look good. I need to fucking squeeze my shit in and wear the dress over it. It’s all nude anyway all I gotta do is take off my panties and pull out my boobs. Yay, problems solved. No one ever knows Mary’s wearing a corset. Been doing it back before I actually managed to get somewhat skinny off the drugs.
But I’m fat now!
And we’re supposed to go get a corset tomorrow, she was gonna pay, but she wont unless I do to that fucking job interview. Why? I’m just gonna purposely fuck it up anyway. How the hell am I gonna try to manage three jobs? Ask me when the fuck I’ll be able to sleep? Half past fucking never, that’s when. I already have a legitamite job, something so I don’t have to out down stripping on my resume. There’s no point for this other one!
So basically, I get to go in tomorrow. FAT. Mind you. FUCKING HUGE. And feel like SHIT and look like SHIT and try to take guys money when I don’t even feel good about me? Are you KIDDING me?
YOU DON’T FUCKING GET IT. I HAVE BILLS. I CAN’T EVEN BUY CIGARETTES RIGHT NOW. I DNT HAVE SHIT. I NEED TO WORK.
All I fucking AM is a stripper anyway! Why the fuck should anyone be surprised?! I mean REALLY? No, fuck you. I’m not gonna do to that ridiculous interview. I’m not going to sit here and pretend I’m something I’m not. I have a “real job” already. So I’m good. There is no point.
I’m just not eating anymore. I’m so SICK of being this fucking DISGUSTING anyway.
I’m too fucking pretty to have my body look that way it does right now. I really, really am.
Labels: pissed off
