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I don’t know if I’m more high or drunk right now.

All I know is that I’m very hyper aware of what’s going on. You have no idea how bad that it is for me. Especially sexually.

Threesome.

I’m off-putting, but they understand that’s just how I am when I’m high.

No I am not on meth. I haven’t touched that since March 28th. I hope to never touch it again. I can’t handle it.

I just can’t handle sex when I know whats going on. I can explain it, but I won’t. I don’t wanna go through it again. Don’t wanna cry again.

The stupid slut whore isn’t supposed to run and lock herself in the bathroom and cry. She’s supposed to spread her legs and take it like a good little bitch.

I’m sick of being who I am. I’m sick of all of this.

I can’t have sex anymore. I really, really can’t. You all don’t understand what it does to me or how it makes me feel.

There’s something seriously wrong with me.

And I’m just fucking sick of it all. I can’t deal with this anymore. I’ve tried, tried so goddamn hard. I am so angry right now. I didn’t wanna say half the shit I did.

I can’t deal with this.

I hate who I am. What I’ve become. I wish I wasn’t over someone’s house right now. I wanna destroy myself.

Fuck all of this.

Labels: die

I don’t know if I’m more high or drunk right now.

All I know is that I’m very hyper aware of what’s going on. You have no idea how bad that it is for me. Especially sexually.

Threesome.

I’m off-putting, but they understand that’s just how I am when I’m high.

No I am not on meth. I haven’t touched that since March 28th. I hope to never touch it again. I can’t handle it.

I just can’t handle sex when I know whats going on. I can explain it, but I won’t. I don’t wanna go through it again. Don’t wanna cry again.

The stupid slut whore isn’t supposed to run and lock herself in the bathroom and cry. She’s supposed to spread her legs and take it like a good little bitch.

I’m sick of being who I am. I’m sick of all of this.

I can’t have sex anymore. I really, really can’t. You all don’t understand what it does to me or how it makes me feel.

There’s something seriously wrong with me.

And I’m just fucking sick of it all. I can’t deal with this anymore. I’ve tried, tried so goddamn hard. I am so angry right now. I didn’t wanna say half the shit I did.

I can’t deal with this.

I hate who I am. What I’ve become. I wish I wasn’t over someone’s house right now. I wanna destroy myself.

Fuck all of this.

Labels: die

My name is Mary. I'm a 24 year old creative mess. I like to tell stories in anyway that I can, though mostly through visual artwork. I enjoy film editing, writing, modeling, photography, dancing, and website design. I'm a lesbian. I'm bipolar. I'm stronger than I usually give myself credit for. I'm a recovering drug addict. I'm passionate as all hell. I'm a beautiful disaster. I want to be free. I want to fly.

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