Friday, January 30, 2009
six month streak finished @ 12:05 PM
Anyone remember saying I hadn't had sex since July? Well, I have now.
I don't think I ever mentioned this girl in my journal before, I believe the first time we met was before I started this thing. It was back when I was hanging out with Dani alot, I remember that.
Well, there's this girl named Sarai. Fucking beautiful. Like, gorgeous. Like one of those supermodel types you always wish you could tap but never get to LOL.
The first time I met her, I was all hung up on wanting to fuck a girl named Mary (yeah, laugh, I do) purely based on the fact that I wanted to fuck someone with the same name as me. Yeah, I'm weird. Regardless of that fact, the first time she worked at the club since I worked there, she came up to me, told me I was beautiful and offered to buy me a drink.
( EDIT: Actually I did write about her before, but it was in my facebook before I started this and only consisted of one sentence cause I was ranting about Mary. "But then last week, after some other random hot ass porn star looking stripper worked there for a night and hit on me right in front of her, buying me drinks and wanting my number, Mary ended up randomly pushing me up against a wall and sticking her tongue down my throat." The random porn star looking stripper would be Sarai LOL)
Hot chicks just don't do that to me. Ever. I'm usually the one initiating stuff like that, so she got my attention. Which is hard to do with my head so far up my own ass most days.
I didn't see her for maybe a couple weeks, a month, after that maybe. I get drunk at work, act like the horny ass fool that I am when I get that way, and basically make it clear all I want from her is to fuck her for a night.
So she doesn't fuck me. I'm pretty sure it was because she knew my original intentions. I really just planned to one fuck, no call back type of thing. It's what I do alot. Or at least what I used to do when I fucked random women all the time.
But after awhile we actually get to talking. While in some ways we're the complete fucking opposite from each other - pretty much day and night basically - in other ways we're also very similar and click well on other levels.
She's intelligent. You all know how I am with that. On top of that, she's a geek. Twilight, Harry Potter, and hell when we were laying in her bed talking last night about human evolution she referenced Star Wars. Seriously, I love a geeky woman. Especially one that's fucking beautiful on top of it.
Well, last night she came to work and we were both talking about how we had to pay our cell phone bills, and I mentioned I can't cause I don't have a ride. She offers to pick me up in the morning, but I remind her neither of us have a phone so we aren't going to be able to get in touch with each other.
Last night was odd. It was only because here I was: high, drunk, horny... but I had no intentions of fucking her at all. We both had a mutual customer who was taking care of us that night, and I just kind of wanted to touch her, but not in a sexual way, if that makes any sense... and just talk to her.
I was starting to like her more than I usually willingly allow myself to like a person. I have intimacy issues, obviously. After Amanda, who destroyed my heart and made me scared to even get close to anyone again, I try not to like people like that. Why I fuck and move on, basically. I mean even me and Diana, we dated, but it was a relationship purely based on sex.
I knew Sarai liked me, that was obvious to me, though I really don't understand why she does. Honestly, the woman is way out of my league, and that's something I don't say very often. I look at her and then I look and me and I don't really get it.
Anyway, we went back to her house last night and took a bath together, talked, layed in bed after, talked some more. I kissed her, kissing led to other stuff, other stuff led to some great sex.
I won't give the details, and I know you all know I'm not one to edit, but this is a public blog, so I'm going to this time. To be honest though, I love the way she has sex... not many women have sex the way she does.
She's very sensual, and most women are afraid to do that because sensuality tends to be looked at as emotional, and that's just not something most people do the first time they have sex with someone. But yet at the same time she'll get rough with me the way I like it. I don't know, it's difficult to explain, but I guess it was just the passion of it. If any of you guys read my fanfiction, the sex most of my characters have in it is the sex I want and enjoy. It's passionate, it's raw, it's sensual. It's the little things that turn me on or get me off, and Sarai did that.
Trust me, I wasn't expecting THAT either.
Anyway, point is, when I had sex with her that's not going to be the end of it. We both clearly like each other alot, and I don't know... I feel like a dumbass attempting to explain it properly because I never can, which is stupid since I'm a writer and write a lot about this stuff. Anyway, my point is, we're probably going to start dating.
So, while I'm absolutely terrified at the thought of letting another person in to my fucked up life, at the same time I know I need it. Sadly, the thing I've been missing over the last couple months wasn't not having sex, it was not having intimacy.
Anyway, we woke up this morning, she turned on the news, and I totally started debating politics (namely, the economy and the democratic parties involved in fucking it up) with her after only a few hours of sleep. LOL. But see, that's why I like her, she can actually hold an interesting conversation. I mean her theories on human evolution actually fascinated me. I love a woman who can stimulate me intellectually.
But then there's things that we are just completely opposite about.
She wakes up early, sticks to her diet, works out, goes tanning, has a million errands to run, always needs to be out doing something in the sunlight.
I stay at home alone, brood in the dark, eat like a pig, am lazy, and hate sunlight with a burning passion.
She's girly, wears alot of pink, loves plastic surgery, and never leaves the house without looking good.
I wear whatever is clean and closest to me, hate my body but have no effort to fix it (surgery or otherwise), and your lucky if I leave the house with my hair brushed and not just thrown up into a ponytail unless I'm going to work our out to like a bar or something.
She told me I might like her now, but just wait until she starts waking me up early, dragging me out of the house to go work out with her, and making me eat right.
I told her she might like me now, but just wait until I tell her to go fuck off when she wakes me up, refuse to leave my computer chair, and eat everything unless I'm dope fucked, in which case I'll eat nothing.
Though, to be honest, I think we might be able to balance each other out in that aspect. She looks like she never slows down to enjoy simple things like just lounging around, and I'm just incredibly lazy as hell.
We could find a medium, who knows. Hell, if she actually can get me to get off my ass and work out, 10 fucking points, man LOL.
Anyway, I just needed to write about that, because I really like her alot and feel the need to gush, for lack of a better term. It'd be nice to just date again.
