Wednesday, August 26, 2009
I'm not your entertainment anymore @ 12:53 PM
We all need someone to look up to. Someone that we strive to be either professionally, or mentally, etc. No, Parker is not real. Yes, I completely and one hundred percent understand that. But I don’t ask for your judgments, this is my journal. If I’m going to continue to be told that what I do isn’t healthy and I need help, then I’ll just close this thing down. I don’t need people I don’t know to tell me what to do with my life. Unless you’d like to pay for my therapy, don’t speak. I can’t afford it; I don’t have a job that gives me insurance.
I’m deleting everything related to my Sapphire Smoke persona. I just protected my Twitter, shut down the website, the fanpage on facebook, and the YouTube channel. MySpace is next.. I’m not on the Internet anymore to entertain you, any of you. I’m on here to share my interests with some friends and have fun. To do what I enjoy doing.
No, maybe it’s not god damn healthy to be into a show like this. Watch me fucking cry about it, honestly. You wanna change who I am? I’ve been like this since I hit puberty and my bipolar became out of god damn control. It’s called a “focus”, thanks. I’m not stalking anybody or having delusions of love or importance or anything like that. To me, that’s crazy. What I do? Yeah maybe it’s a bit obsessive, but that’s how I cope with things. And it makes me HAPPY. None of you seem to understand that word.
Happiness.I ENJOY writing fanfic, I enjoy running the YouTube channel for Parker, and the website for Beth. I enjoy making graphics and geeking out and being excited over such small stupid things. Okay? That show makes me happy, so leave me the hell alone. About one of the only things that do. And I understand some people think that television isn’t healthy when you get into it like that, that people need to go out and socialize and live in the real world, but the real world doesn’t make me happy. We’re not all built the god damn same, and if I’m not like you then just accept that and move on. I don’t harass others and tell then what they need to do. Ever.
I’m not your entertainment anymore. I’m sorry, but this is over.
I am not Sapphire Smoke, I’m Mary. I’m not the YouTube personality anymore; those days were over almost a year ago now. I’m not the fucked off model either. You know the last time I truly modeled? June 2007. Yeah I take pictures for fun and I enjoy it but it’s not the same thing anymore.
I’m not your damn entertainment. Find someone else to internet stalk. This is over for me.
Labels: the day sapphire smoke died
Wednesday, August 26, 2009
I'm not your entertainment anymore @ 12:53 PM
We all need someone to look up to. Someone that we strive to be either professionally, or mentally, etc. No, Parker is not real. Yes, I completely and one hundred percent understand that. But I don’t ask for your judgments, this is my journal. If I’m going to continue to be told that what I do isn’t healthy and I need help, then I’ll just close this thing down. I don’t need people I don’t know to tell me what to do with my life. Unless you’d like to pay for my therapy, don’t speak. I can’t afford it; I don’t have a job that gives me insurance.
I’m deleting everything related to my Sapphire Smoke persona. I just protected my Twitter, shut down the website, the fanpage on facebook, and the YouTube channel. MySpace is next.. I’m not on the Internet anymore to entertain you, any of you. I’m on here to share my interests with some friends and have fun. To do what I enjoy doing.
No, maybe it’s not god damn healthy to be into a show like this. Watch me fucking cry about it, honestly. You wanna change who I am? I’ve been like this since I hit puberty and my bipolar became out of god damn control. It’s called a “focus”, thanks. I’m not stalking anybody or having delusions of love or importance or anything like that. To me, that’s crazy. What I do? Yeah maybe it’s a bit obsessive, but that’s how I cope with things. And it makes me HAPPY. None of you seem to understand that word.
Happiness.I ENJOY writing fanfic, I enjoy running the YouTube channel for Parker, and the website for Beth. I enjoy making graphics and geeking out and being excited over such small stupid things. Okay? That show makes me happy, so leave me the hell alone. About one of the only things that do. And I understand some people think that television isn’t healthy when you get into it like that, that people need to go out and socialize and live in the real world, but the real world doesn’t make me happy. We’re not all built the god damn same, and if I’m not like you then just accept that and move on. I don’t harass others and tell then what they need to do. Ever.
I’m not your entertainment anymore. I’m sorry, but this is over.
I am not Sapphire Smoke, I’m Mary. I’m not the YouTube personality anymore; those days were over almost a year ago now. I’m not the fucked off model either. You know the last time I truly modeled? June 2007. Yeah I take pictures for fun and I enjoy it but it’s not the same thing anymore.
I’m not your damn entertainment. Find someone else to internet stalk. This is over for me.
Labels: the day sapphire smoke died
i my me mine.
you think you know me yeah ?
My name is Mary. I'm a 24 year old creative mess. I like to tell stories in anyway that I can, though mostly through visual artwork. I enjoy film editing, writing, modeling, photography, dancing, and website design. I'm a lesbian. I'm bipolar. I'm stronger than I usually give myself credit for. I'm a recovering drug addict. I'm passionate as all hell. I'm a beautiful disaster. I want to be free. I want to
fly.
credits.
