Tuesday, December 09, 2008
porn, porn, porn... fun for the whole family! @ 4:09 AM
I find it surprising how much I've gotten done today with being horribly sick. I keep coughing up some really gross things, and it's not very fun. I also have yet to clean my house, but um... tomorrow? I decided to take a couple days off because of my sickness, and to get all the things I need to get done, done.I'll be back to work on Wednesday, and will probably end up working through Sunday. I have yet to decide to go back to Mainstage yet, because Ft. Worth Gentleman's is really not doing me or Dani any good right now, but we'll see.So I woke up today with absolutely no text messages. You have no idea how wonderful that is for me right now. I usually wake up with about ten missed calls and five new texts. I did have three missed calls from Brandi, but I called her back a little later in the night.I crawl my sick ass to the computer, and sit in the most uncomfortable computer chair in the world, and start to check my things. I go on facebook, and see that Hudson accepted my friend request. So I send her a message on her wall, pretty much saying that I was under the impression that her and computers don't mix very well, but that I was glad she was on there. And to be honest, I am now. I've gotten over the fear of Hudson knowing all my little things that I do, she knows the kind of person I am, and that I'm influenced a lot by sexuality, so I know it's no surprise for her. She wrote me back a couple minutes later with:"keep surrenderingi send you much loveh"Of course I was like wait, surrender to what? Sometimes I have a hard time understanding her, so I sent her a private message and asked. She explained that I need to surrender to God, or my idea of God (basically whatever I think put me on this earth), that I need to scream, cry, pray, do whatever it takes. That my addiction is ruled by my mind, and that I shouldn't surrender to it.I attempted to grasp that concept, and kind of just left it at that. I kinda need to take what she tells me in small doses, otherwise when she overloads me I feel trapped and vulnerable and then I start to get angry at her honesty. She hasn't done the bluntly honest thing with me yet, but I'm damn sure it'll come in time.Anyway, she leaves a couple picture comments, and then so do a bunch of my yoga friends, so when I came back I had like 14 new notifications or something, and was all overwhelmed by the large conversations on my pictures.I'm overcome my blog music problem, if you haven't noticed. Mini YouTube videos! Good enough. And by the way, why the fuck adsense in taking over my tageboard is beyond me. Someone write some shit in there so it might go away. I've never seen that happen before.
I decided it was time for my website to get a new layout, so I made one on Photoshop. After that though, I stopped. I have yet to do the coding. I'll get there eventually though.Later on, I decided it was time to finally do that smoking fetish video request. It was supposed to be at least 20 minutes, but it only ended up being 10. I'm going to explain to the guy that I'm sick, and I couldn't do 20 minutes. I swear, after each cigarette I stopped the video and coughed up a lung and a half. It was bad, it was getting me light headed and shit. I can't chain smoke sick, people!Afterwards, I get a brilliant idea to do a new porn video, in the style of my lip sync music videos I did on YouTube. It was a lot of fun, even sick, and I think it turned out awesome. I have some bad ass makeup, and at the beginning I made it like how the beginning of "Poker face" starts (which is the song I did it too, have you noticed my obsession with this song yet?), with the stop, go, rewind, go, stop, thing only I'm undressing myself. Its really really bad ass. I'm proud of myself.I wish I had some deep thoughts to post today like I did when I was all crazy and shit, but I don't. Maybe tomorrow, but lets not hold our breaths, shall we?Labels: addiction, drugs, facebook, fetish, hudson leick, lady gaga, layout, poker face, porn, smoking, videos, websites
Tuesday, December 09, 2008
porn, porn, porn... fun for the whole family! @ 4:09 AM
I find it surprising how much I've gotten done today with being horribly sick. I keep coughing up some really gross things, and it's not very fun. I also have yet to clean my house, but um... tomorrow? I decided to take a couple days off because of my sickness, and to get all the things I need to get done, done.I'll be back to work on Wednesday, and will probably end up working through Sunday. I have yet to decide to go back to Mainstage yet, because Ft. Worth Gentleman's is really not doing me or Dani any good right now, but we'll see.So I woke up today with absolutely no text messages. You have no idea how wonderful that is for me right now. I usually wake up with about ten missed calls and five new texts. I did have three missed calls from Brandi, but I called her back a little later in the night.I crawl my sick ass to the computer, and sit in the most uncomfortable computer chair in the world, and start to check my things. I go on facebook, and see that Hudson accepted my friend request. So I send her a message on her wall, pretty much saying that I was under the impression that her and computers don't mix very well, but that I was glad she was on there. And to be honest, I am now. I've gotten over the fear of Hudson knowing all my little things that I do, she knows the kind of person I am, and that I'm influenced a lot by sexuality, so I know it's no surprise for her. She wrote me back a couple minutes later with:"keep surrenderingi send you much loveh"Of course I was like wait, surrender to what? Sometimes I have a hard time understanding her, so I sent her a private message and asked. She explained that I need to surrender to God, or my idea of God (basically whatever I think put me on this earth), that I need to scream, cry, pray, do whatever it takes. That my addiction is ruled by my mind, and that I shouldn't surrender to it.I attempted to grasp that concept, and kind of just left it at that. I kinda need to take what she tells me in small doses, otherwise when she overloads me I feel trapped and vulnerable and then I start to get angry at her honesty. She hasn't done the bluntly honest thing with me yet, but I'm damn sure it'll come in time.Anyway, she leaves a couple picture comments, and then so do a bunch of my yoga friends, so when I came back I had like 14 new notifications or something, and was all overwhelmed by the large conversations on my pictures.I'm overcome my blog music problem, if you haven't noticed. Mini YouTube videos! Good enough. And by the way, why the fuck adsense in taking over my tageboard is beyond me. Someone write some shit in there so it might go away. I've never seen that happen before.
I decided it was time for my website to get a new layout, so I made one on Photoshop. After that though, I stopped. I have yet to do the coding. I'll get there eventually though.Later on, I decided it was time to finally do that smoking fetish video request. It was supposed to be at least 20 minutes, but it only ended up being 10. I'm going to explain to the guy that I'm sick, and I couldn't do 20 minutes. I swear, after each cigarette I stopped the video and coughed up a lung and a half. It was bad, it was getting me light headed and shit. I can't chain smoke sick, people!Afterwards, I get a brilliant idea to do a new porn video, in the style of my lip sync music videos I did on YouTube. It was a lot of fun, even sick, and I think it turned out awesome. I have some bad ass makeup, and at the beginning I made it like how the beginning of "Poker face" starts (which is the song I did it too, have you noticed my obsession with this song yet?), with the stop, go, rewind, go, stop, thing only I'm undressing myself. Its really really bad ass. I'm proud of myself.I wish I had some deep thoughts to post today like I did when I was all crazy and shit, but I don't. Maybe tomorrow, but lets not hold our breaths, shall we?Labels: addiction, drugs, facebook, fetish, hudson leick, lady gaga, layout, poker face, porn, smoking, videos, websites
i my me mine.
you think you know me yeah ?
My name is Mary. I'm a 24 year old creative mess. I like to tell stories in anyway that I can, though mostly through visual artwork. I enjoy film editing, writing, modeling, photography, dancing, and website design. I'm a lesbian. I'm bipolar. I'm stronger than I usually give myself credit for. I'm a recovering drug addict. I'm passionate as all hell. I'm a beautiful disaster. I want to be free. I want to
fly.
credits.
