Friday, January 23, 2009
fdsg hate titles @ 2:13 PM
I haven't slept since I woke up at 3pm on Wednesday afternoon. While it was all good and lovely at first, right now it kinda bothers me because I sadly am forced to go to work tonight to participate in a photoshoot.Yeah. A Photoshoot. On no sleep. Probably looking cracked out.FTL.I don't know, I get ahold of those pictures before anyone else first cause I get to be the one to put them on the stupid website, so I can always attempt to edit my cracked out-ness.... but IDK if it'll work or not. Never took pics like this.Videos, yes. Videos I wish I never did take because I didn't know how fucked up I looked until I wasn't and watched it back. Its funny cause you always think your acting normal and your just not.IDK. Maybe I shouldn't go. But I do need money, have to pay my room this week, and I am thus far... $200 short. Well, that is if I ever get my fucking check cashed. But then again, I don't have to pay it until Monday. So ugh.I swear to fucking god this dope is never ending. I get some Wednesday before work because I had a rough night the night before, but really needed to be awake to work.I order $20, pay for $20, get a $50 because apparently my new dealer is fucking awesome, and gave me more because his last batch was kinda bunk.But seriously, $50 used to last me a day. ONE DAY. How in the fuck am I on day three and at the rate this shit is going, I could probably still be up for another two.And I can't just stop doing it. IDK if any of you have done it before, but coming down is the worst feeling in the world. The only time people will let themselves go through that much pain and sickness is when they run out.Either that or their body finally collapses and falls out. That's usually better. Well, I like it better anyway. I sleep for like 24 hours after that.Blah, drugs suck. This shit needs to finished.LOL I kind of find this funny. Here I am, I have the best dope I've gotten in awhile. Burns slow, lasts long, isn't making me grind my teeth, I can still eat on it (maybe not as much as I usually can, but I can eat a small meal) and I can take a short nap for like an hour every now and then. I don't feel horrible. I just feel... unmotivated. I suppose.In other news, I finished my website. Finally...http://beth-riesgraf.info/I was having some issues with the domain earlier, but its all cool now. So yay. MaryWIN.Also, for any of you that actually looked at what I did via the last post... I've been requested to do more, so I am. & they got worse. So so soooo much worse. But I love them. They're so twisted and perverted and fucked up and it makes me LOL.UGH. I wanna take a fucking nap. Work bad. Sleep good.Work bad. Sleep good.Fucking blah. You know my cats are eating dog food? Yeah, apparently the stupid store decided to stock 476384 thinsg of dog food, and no cat food... but yet cat litter. I'm like wtf dude. SRSLY.Fuck all the bullshit, I need to eat something before I die. The end.Labels: beth riesgraf, dope, drugs, meth, website design, work
Friday, January 23, 2009
fdsg hate titles @ 2:13 PM
I haven't slept since I woke up at 3pm on Wednesday afternoon. While it was all good and lovely at first, right now it kinda bothers me because I sadly am forced to go to work tonight to participate in a photoshoot.Yeah. A Photoshoot. On no sleep. Probably looking cracked out.FTL.I don't know, I get ahold of those pictures before anyone else first cause I get to be the one to put them on the stupid website, so I can always attempt to edit my cracked out-ness.... but IDK if it'll work or not. Never took pics like this.Videos, yes. Videos I wish I never did take because I didn't know how fucked up I looked until I wasn't and watched it back. Its funny cause you always think your acting normal and your just not.IDK. Maybe I shouldn't go. But I do need money, have to pay my room this week, and I am thus far... $200 short. Well, that is if I ever get my fucking check cashed. But then again, I don't have to pay it until Monday. So ugh.I swear to fucking god this dope is never ending. I get some Wednesday before work because I had a rough night the night before, but really needed to be awake to work.I order $20, pay for $20, get a $50 because apparently my new dealer is fucking awesome, and gave me more because his last batch was kinda bunk.But seriously, $50 used to last me a day. ONE DAY. How in the fuck am I on day three and at the rate this shit is going, I could probably still be up for another two.And I can't just stop doing it. IDK if any of you have done it before, but coming down is the worst feeling in the world. The only time people will let themselves go through that much pain and sickness is when they run out.Either that or their body finally collapses and falls out. That's usually better. Well, I like it better anyway. I sleep for like 24 hours after that.Blah, drugs suck. This shit needs to finished.LOL I kind of find this funny. Here I am, I have the best dope I've gotten in awhile. Burns slow, lasts long, isn't making me grind my teeth, I can still eat on it (maybe not as much as I usually can, but I can eat a small meal) and I can take a short nap for like an hour every now and then. I don't feel horrible. I just feel... unmotivated. I suppose.In other news, I finished my website. Finally...http://beth-riesgraf.info/I was having some issues with the domain earlier, but its all cool now. So yay. MaryWIN.Also, for any of you that actually looked at what I did via the last post... I've been requested to do more, so I am. & they got worse. So so soooo much worse. But I love them. They're so twisted and perverted and fucked up and it makes me LOL.UGH. I wanna take a fucking nap. Work bad. Sleep good.Work bad. Sleep good.Fucking blah. You know my cats are eating dog food? Yeah, apparently the stupid store decided to stock 476384 thinsg of dog food, and no cat food... but yet cat litter. I'm like wtf dude. SRSLY.Fuck all the bullshit, I need to eat something before I die. The end.Labels: beth riesgraf, dope, drugs, meth, website design, work
i my me mine.
you think you know me yeah ?
My name is Mary. I'm a 24 year old creative mess. I like to tell stories in anyway that I can, though mostly through visual artwork. I enjoy film editing, writing, modeling, photography, dancing, and website design. I'm a lesbian. I'm bipolar. I'm stronger than I usually give myself credit for. I'm a recovering drug addict. I'm passionate as all hell. I'm a beautiful disaster. I want to be free. I want to
fly.
credits.
