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Since ConCon 2011 was cancelled, a couple of us put on FanCon 2011 instead for those fans that couldn’t switch their flights and whatnot. It was really small, but hella fucking cool. Electric Entertainment took the time out of their schedules to put together a screening for the premiere of season four, a walking locations tour, and a set tour. Not only that, but Gina Bellman, Tim Hutton, and Aldis Hodge showed up! Since none of them were getting paid for all this, it was probably the coolest thing I’ve ever seen a show do for their fans.

OUR FANDOM IS MORE AWESOME THAN YOURS, BITCHES.

Though I loved ConCon last year, it was nice to actually not have every single second of every single day scheduled. It gave us a lot more time to hang out with our friends and be awesomely stupid and amazing. “Boobs” was the primary topic of the weekend though I guess with my friends, no surprise there xD I drank… probably far too much than I should have in the span of four days, but hey; it’s vacation.

I got laid, lol, which was nice. However that did cause some drama which I wasn’t really prepared for since I’ve never actually thought people gave much of a shit about what I did.

I wish Beth had been there, but I guess she had her kid for the weekend. It would have been nice to… I don’t know. Even if she had come, I doubt we would have had the chance to actually talk, so I don’t know what I wanted. It probably doesn’t matter.

But it was seriously one of the funnest weekends of my life. The end of the month is probably gonna be looking the same way with some of our friends coming down for the Kane concert and Ali’s birthday. Then Rikki’s birthday is like a week or two after I think.

I can’t talk about the season four premiere specifically, but let me say this: number one, it was fucking amazing; and number two, there’s a part in there that’s gonna have you crying. And me? I don’t cry usually. But I totally did, I’ll admit it lol.

I didn’t do the set tour last year so I’m glad I got to this weekend. Seeing it was… really fucking cool. I don’t know how else to explain it. It’s like, you see it on your screen but then you’re fucking in it and… yeah. Just fucking cool as shit, dude.

I’m still wiped from the weekend so I’m not going to do into any more depth with this, but I loved every second of it, and I can’t wait for either the next ConCon or the next FanCon. At this point, it doesn’t matter if it’s official or not because Leverage fans still know how to have a good fucking time regardless.

Labels: aldis hodge, beth riesgraf, gina bellman, leverage, leverage convention, timothy hutton

I guess before I start rambling on for about ten pages, to start I’d like to especially thank Dean, Beth, Chris, Tim, and Rikki for making this weekend incredibly special for me. Love you guys, all in your own special way, haha.

This was the best weekend of my life, and I don’t use that lightly. Fuck, I’m not even sure on where to start.

I guess it would make sense to start at the beginning, so Thursday it is. First of all, let me tell you all that my flight went out around 5am EST (the time I usually go to sleep) and got in at 11am PST. I had one hour of sleep, and not a full, constant hour. I was slightly delirious for being up for over 24 hours, but
I was too excited to let it really bother me. I mean fuck, I was in Portland at the freakin’ Leverage convention. Who the hell needs sleep? I was jacked up on Monster for most of that day lol.

Rick came and met me at the airport and we chilled for a little while until I went to go see Dean. I know I never really talked about him in here, at least not by specific name, but I think after the convention it’s kind of obvious that he doesn’t just know me as “hey, that’s the Leverage fangirl.” Dean has been an amazing friend to me over the last year and I owe him, fuck, basically my life. I won’t go into details but he seriously has been an amazing friend to me and has helped me out when no one else would. So getting to meet him finally face to face was awesome. I practically tackled him, ain’t gonna lie lol.

After that I went to the Meet and Greet thingie. I tacklesquished Kimber and then when Sage walked in and I squealed and totally interrupted Marc’s speech (oh well lol). Met Rikki then, but I didn’t know her from Twitter really so we didn’t talk much. That damn room was packed full and was hot as hell. I didn’t eat, though I probably should have lol. My nerves were going haywire though. Afterwards a bunch of us went to Mo Mo’s to get some drinks (or a lot of drinks, if you have seen the video I took haha). I’m not really sure how but me and Rikki completely gravitated towards each other that night and I ended up spending the night at her place instead of at Cole’s. It was fun – I gave Rose a friggin lap dance hahaha. Part of me is like hmm maybe I shouldn’t have put that up on the YouTube channel but the other part of me is like fuck it, I had my clothes on at least xD And it ain’t like my subscribers don’t know what I do for a living anyway.

Oh. Actually I found out there’s this one cunt on Twitter who apparently decided to talk shit to my friends at the last Kane concert they all went to, saying like “Do you know what Mary IS?!” And then went on to say I’m a meth addict and a whore. Bitch, first of all, on the 28th I’ll be clean for a year. Second of all, while I won’t deny that I am a whore, trying to turn my friends against me is fucked up and vindictive. You are so fuckin’ lucky you weren’t at Con because shit would have went down. You think I would’ve gotten kicked out? Think again. Bet my last dollar you would have though.

But moving on. I barely got any sleep that night – too excited.

Also, let me point out that from here on out me and Rikki were completely inseparable. We were like attached at the hip the rest of the convention. LOVE YOU TWIN! Black King Queen / White Knight! Haha

Friday we got our badges, and me and Rikki have an aversion to standing in lines so we just kind of waited over by the tables so we could jump in at the last minute. Turns out we didn’t have to though; the lady working it apparently knew who we were and gave them to us while we were just standing there. We got ones that had a shiny little “Participant” ribbon on them (this is why we’re awesome, btw LOL). But for some fucked up reason, I got first row and she got eighth. I tried talking to Rachel about that and then to Dean, but there was really nothing they could do. Thankfully someone else gave Rikki their seat up front for some of the panels, which was super sweet of them. If not I was just going to have her take my seat during the guy’s panel, since she really loves Tim. I really wasn’t expecting front row either, I’m not really sure who’s doing that was, but thank you!

Anyway, Friday was my panel. I was nervous like hell going on stage and talking to a bunch of people. I’ve always been the girl who goes up in front of the class to present a project and my voice shakes and I stutter and shit. So I’m up there with a bloody microphone in my hand and like a hundred people staring at me and it was… actually not as hard as I thought it was going to be. It might sound stupid but after I showed my videos I didn’t actually expect people to clap lol. I got kind of startled when that happened, but it was nice. I got a bit freaked when I turned around and saw myself all on the big screen haha. I’m just not used to stuff like that, but it was really cool.

Directly afterwards, some photographer comes up to me and says he wants to take pictures of me. I was kind of taken aback by that, but it was really cool to play model again. I’ve gotten two of the pictures back but I hope I get more *bounces* I look super fucking WHITE in them. Its sexy as fuck haha.

So anyway, to backtrack a bit, during the panel someone asked me if I ever thought of doing this professionally and I kind of… said a little bit more than I should of. So of course, being the sleep deprived and over emotional human being that I am I get all upset until I can find Dean and cry and apologize. Of course, like always, I made a huge deal over nothing, but at least he’s used to that lol. Seriously, tiny things are always the end of the freaking world with me. But it was cool to see that Dean sat in for my panel and I saw John there for a little bit – I felt cool xD

Anyway, after that; me, Rikki, Jason, Robert, and Ali kind of all just gravitated together for the next couple hours. Their room was officially dubbed the party room, pretty much haha.

The cocktail party… haha. Oh lord. I got SO fucking trashed. I had eight 7 and 7s, which was what? “The Blow It Up Job”? Lol. I know I had one “Five Pounds of Crazy” (fail, Rikki! It’s twenty pounds! Lol) which was I think a kamikaze. Fuck if I remember. Anyway, that was really fucking fun. Got to take pictures with a shit ton of people. Both John Rogers and Chris Downey knew who I was which I thought was freaking epic. Rick and Gerald were both really fun to hang out with too, I’m upset I missed their panel but I believe autographs were going on then and we all know how crazy that shit was. Albert Kim wanted a picture with me, which I thought was cool too.

Me and Rikki were outside smoking our hundredth drunken cigarette of the night when Rachel came out and told us we had to help herd the crowd of Leverage fans away from the entrance where the actors would be coming in. Finally we made it back upstairs to join civilization and then the actors come out. Now, I’m not gonna lie… sadly I didn’t even remember this, but I have video proof lol. When Beth came out I did the whole “OMG OMG OMG OMG” thing lol. Yeah, I totally cut that out of the video that’s on YouTube hahaha. I blame being trashed and sleep deprived. I totally fangirled and it’s completely embarrassing *dies*

I do remember someone yelling out “CHRIS!” though so I yelled out “BETH!” to compensate haha.

Anyway, she totally didn’t even look at me and it made me sad since I knew she knew what I looked like and I’m not exactly hard to spot. Tim however did come over and introduce himself and to say hi to Rikki. That guy is fucking awesome, I’m serious. I had no idea how cool he was until this weekend haha. Anyway, my drunk ass did something stupid later that I won’t talk about but thankfully only Rikki was there for that part. After I left and me and Cole downed about five jager bombs in fifteen minutes and then headed off back to his place. I slept a little, thank god, but not much.

I can’t remember when exactly I raided the merchandise room, but I definitely bought pretty much everything on the fucking table haha. It was all really well priced too, which I’m thankful for.

The next morning drunk me tore Cole a new asshole. This is why I don’t do well with roommates, or being hung over lol. I think I scared him a little xD

Anyway, yeah, the next day we all met up and went to ‘The Five’ panel. I videoed most of that and it’s up on YouTube. I was so fucking excited to see Beth ya’ll don’t even know lol. But it was really funny and entertaining. I can’t describe it and give it justice so thank god for the videos hahaha.

So next… autographs. Oh god, the fucking autographs. Me and Rikki stayed at the back of the line for that. Lines and stuff like that are hard for me. There’s too many people, and especially with something like this emotions are running high and it really fucks with me. I actually started slightly hyperventilating at one point, not being able to deal with everyone around me and their emotions on top of my own. I was able to chill though eventually.

Gerald and Rick came out and Gerald signed my shirt but Rick’s person wouldn’t let him so he said he’d come sign it later. I didn’t even know they were signing autographs. Lame – they should have advertised that better.

Then Marc comes up and he’s like “Why are you two waiting in line?” and we’re like “Um…” so he herds us to the front of the line. Apparently since we’re involved in the convention we didn’t have to wait, which was cool.

Anyway, Tim’s first. I thank him for his portrayal of Nate and how it’s helped me work through my own addiction. He was really cool, talked to me and Rikki for awhile and kind of held up the line for a little while lol.

Then there’s Gina. First of all, she looked at my name tag and goes, “OhShinyTomato? You’re Mary right? You’re doing the fan video panel?” and I shit you not I was like “You know who I am?!” I was so… god, I don’t know. Out of all the people to completely have that fan girl mind blank in front of, it was Gina. She’s so… sophistication and poise though and it’s kind of intimidating. She totally just… I dunno. She made my brain dribble out of my ears. She’s so fucking sexy and her accent makes me melt lol.

So then I can see Beth looking at me out of my peripheral vision and my heart is going like a million miles an hour. I was fucking terrified. But I turned and looked at her, she smiled and said hi, and I hugged her. It was just kind of instinctual lol. But then out of fucking NO WHERE comes people running up with cameras and a bloody video camera taking pictures and video of us and it was slightly fucking overwhelming. We kind of looked at each other like ‘holy shit.’ And in one way I was expecting it, but I guess in another I didn’t think it would actually happen so it kind of freaked me out.

Anyway, I was like “I don’t know if Dean told you, but he was supposed to set something up so where could meet privately so all that didn’t happen when we first met.” And she said yeah, that Dean told her, and that she was going to talk to him afterwards so I could meet with her privately later in the day. She signed my picture, apologized for not really personalizing it besides my name but I said that was fine. I told her I was really nervous about meeting her and she told me she was a little nervous about meeting me too, which made me feel better and I thought it was kind of cute lol. Um… said something about wanting her to sign my Nobody DVD but I didn’t have it on me so I said I’d bring it back the next day.

But let me just say something to put it out there – TV and photos doesn’t do this woman justice. She is stunningly beautiful. It kind of shocked me to be honest. I knew she was pretty but when she smiles it like lights up her whole face. And she’s really soft spoken and super fucking sweet. And then there’s me; loud mouthed, brash, and inappropriate and I’m like god, how the hell did someone like you end up with me as your biggest fan? I mean I’m a fucking mess, I’m trashy, I’m rude… and she’s so the complete opposite. It’s weird.

Anyway, Aldis was next and he didn’t know who I was but that was cool haha. We didn’t really talk much.

Then I see Chris and he comes and gives me a big hug. He asked if I was going to the concert and um, duh. I told him I did end up buying a ticket, since originally I didn’t have one and he said that it didn’t matter and that he’d still make sure I could get in. But he took too long to get back to me and I got all paranoid about it haha. Then again, to be fair to him, I didn’t even email him until like the last minute. I’m such a procrastinator, for real. Anyway, it was totally cool seeing him again. He’s my favorite man lol. Well, okay, after Dean. Still.

Then I went over to Dean, John, and Chris’ table and they all signed my shirt since I figured I might as well get it littered with signature now lol. Talked to Dean about what Beth said he said he’d set it up at the Banquet. Then me and Rikki talked to Rachel and then introduced us to some reporter who interviewed us (but only used Rikki in the interview and posted a HIDEOUS picture of me lol)

Then Jackie, Rachel’s assistant (I think? I believe, anyway) comes up to me and hands me something and says “Beth wanted you to have this.” So I look at it and it’s another autograph that says “Hi Mary, Thank you for everything, your support is so amazing! xo Beth” so I was like awww yay! That made me wicked happy, ain’t gonna lie. Jackie said she didn’t want to give it to me in the autograph line and have people get upset that she wrote something more to me than everyone else. I’m happy though – yay for smiling :)

Then we got autographs with Mark Sheppard who entertained us with a CSI story. I never saw his eps on CSI so I was just kinda listening to him talk cause the man could read a fucking phonebook and I’d find it fascinating LOL. He’s got such a nice voice.

I wish I had something of Dollhouse for him to sign damnit, but I still haven’t even bought the DVDs. Slacker. I will though! Sometime… haha

Anyway, after that we kind of chilled for a little bit and then I ran downstairs to go see Dean’s panel with John and Chris. I got a little of that on video too. They’re all really entertaining when they’re together and told some awesome stories.

Fuck, random thought – I don’t know when it was that everyone and their mother was coming up to me and being like “BETH HAS A TATTOO! DID YOU KNOW THAT?!” and um, no I didn’t lol. Nor did I even notice she had one either, but apparently it was on her ankle. I think she actually does have another one, at least that’s what it looked like in one movie, but that wouldn’t have been showing at the convention lol. There, I was kind of stuck on her beautiful face to notice anything else anyway. I barely even notice what she was wearing, which was a first. Me and Beth’s fashion doesn’t ever agree lol. Most of the time I look at pictures and I’m like “Really?” =/ But to be fair, she’s all girly and I’m all not so… bound to be some disagreement on that front lol. Though I did notice her dress at the banquet, that was really pretty, and I wanted her fucking boots she wore on Sunday. Those things were bad ass xD

Right anyway, so I was supposed to have my second panel at 5:30 but the autographs were running really late and my panel was supposed to be in that room. So Rachel said it’d probably be canceled and to talk to Marc. Well I couldn’t find him and my phone was dead the entire convention so that didn’t help. Finally he texted Rikki and told her that barely anyone showed up anyway so if I didn’t want to do it I didn’t have to. I know some people were pissed about this but I was STARVING. I really needed to eat cause I didn’t all day until then. I did one on Friday so I figured it’d be okay. So sorry for those of you that did show up for that, I apologize. Time constraints, confusion, and I was hungry.

Um… so right, the banquet. The food was AMAZING. Oh my god, was that shit good lol. Andy Lange preformed and was really good (forgot to mention he played during the Cocktail party too). Me and Rikki were downstairs having a smoke when she got a call that Deans looking for me so we head back up and he waves me over and I get to finally meet Beth privately. It’s funny cause my first reaction was “Whoa, you are not normally that tall” LOL. She’s a god two inches shorter than me normally but she was like two taller than me when I was standing next to her and it was weird for a second haha.

Anyway we said hi, hugged, and Rikki reminded me to give her my letter I wrote. It wasn’t like an OMG I LOVE YOU kind of letter, it wasn’t even fangirlish, but there was some things I did want her to know that I basically didn’t have the balls to say to her face. I’ve mentioned it in this blog before, about how much Parker has helped me personally, so it was basically about that. I felt kinda stupid writing it and giving it to her, but there really wasn’t any other way unless we both wanted to get up getting weepy and emotional and I try to stay away from emotions as much as I can. I always put on a dead voice and detach myself from reality to handle it and it wouldn’t have meant as much if I did it that way.

So we talked for a bit and then we watched Storm Large perform which - oh my god - that bitch is amazing! Which reminds me I totally need to go download some of her music now. Anyway, afterwards we talked a little more, and fuck; she was so damn nice lol. She thanked me for everything I did for her and told me I was beautiful and talented and strong and thank god I had a handle on myself at that point because I probably would have cried. I don’t know why her saying that meant so much to me but it did, as lame as that is since you know, I barely know her. But whatever. Um… shit, I’m trying to remember what we all talked about. I knew I should have done this blog earlier lol. I remember her saying to not take it personally if she doesn’t respond to me online (which, leads me to oh god does she know when I threw my hissy fit and took everything down? I hope not – me and my fucking stupid emotions, man) but she said she knows its weird with the line of actors and fans and yada yada. Erm… hm. What else? I remember Rick came up and signed my T-shirt and then she did too (she put #1 fan on it lol). Oh! I showed her my bracelet Kimber made for me and the OhShinyTomato badge that both said I was her number one fan and it made her smile.

OH! I got to ask her if her full name was Elizabeth or Bethany. It’s just Beth lol. There’s a reason behind that, but that’s her business. Or, her families anyway.

We talked about her photography; I told her there’s a back way into her website and she said she knows, which I don’t know if she knew because I tweeted that at her or what. Um... told her she’s gotta post more pictures lol. Fuck, I can’t remember everything, but yay for that good chunk lol. Afterwards I asked to take a picture with her and the first one came out blurry cause I forgot the flash, the second she said I did it too high up so she took the camera and tried to do it but put her finger over the flash lol. Awesome photography skillz, lemme assure you :P Anyway, then Paul took the picture for us and OH! I forgot to say Paul was there and he told me Sugarloaf was picked up – so I’ll be on TV! (at some point lol)

Um… anyway, rest of the banquet was cool. Storm Large told me I was gorgeous and I was like “Wow.” Just cause of the way she said it – I mean people told me all through the convention I was beautiful but the way she said it sounded like she really meant it. I remember Cole told me Storm was like me, and then when I was talking to Beth right at the beginning with Dean he said the same thing. He said her music is like my story – but of course my story isn’t the happiest one as you all know.

MY VAGINA IS EIGHT MILES WIDE… lol sorry. Moving on.

Um… got a pic with Aldis… Cole was being a pussy and wanted ME to go up to Beth to get a picture for him but I wasn’t gonna interrupt her at her table. He did eventually get one though and I went up to her after cause I forgot to tell her thank you for the other autograph. Um… oh yeah than Tim came up to our table and I may or may not have squeed just a little bit *headdesk* lol. I was happy for Rikki though cause she wanted a picture with him. I bounced a little bit when I got mine with him. Lol

Aldis did the electric slide which was great lol. Got that on video too.

I remember looking at Beth when she was over by the table and then getting absolutely horrified once I realized what I was doing lol. So of course, because I can’t stop shit from coming out of my mouth, I blurt out, “Oh god, I just checked out her ass! I feel like such a pervert!” lol. I’m serious. I’m insanely respectful of Beth, it’s kind of stupid lol. While I think she’s beautiful, I refuse to let myself think of her in a sexy way. It just feels weird to me. Besides, if I ever did the nasty to myself thinking about her do you really think I’d be able to look her in the eye? (*coughs* and that right there was probably my Gina problem lol) But Beth is so fucking SWEET that half the time I feel like my just my presence corrupts her lol. She’s just… nice damnit. I feel like a pile of shit next to her so I attempt to better myself in a way. Which, for the record, is really damn hard. Trying to think before I speak? Ya’ll have no idea how difficult that is for me. And it’s not like you can learn class instantly, here. I am very unclassy, I won’t deny it. I’m a trashy bitch, but I’m also a creative, smart, and talented as fuck trashy bitch lol.

Anyway, banquet was fun… afterwards me and Rikki were outside smoking a cigarette and Beth and Tim left in the limo. Right when they pulled out they popped out of the top to yell and wave bye to us (which was so epic because it nearly made Rikki jump out of her skin lol).

Afterwards we all went up to Robert, Jason, and Ali’s room and had the LQQ party! Which I laid SMACK DOWN on, btw. I have most games played AND overall winner. Robert just made my shirt too *prance* And then of course we do toasts and everyone gets a bit weepy except for me because I like to use that dead monotonic voice and pretend I don’t feel anything, which is always awkward because everyone knows what I’m doing lol. Um… yeah. God this is getting long lol.

We played Kimber’s Leverage trivia game btw. I got all the Beth questions right except one – her character’s name on Scorcher. I remembered after they said it, and I was like yes! Krissy with a K! hahaha. I’m such a dork.

SUNDAY! I missed Mark’s panel unfortunately because I was fucking STARVING. But the girls were up and that was YAY! Beth waved to me when she came out and it made me happy lol. Um… not much to say about that since I pretty much videoed the entire damn thing, but she did look directly at me when she talked about helping people, you can see it on film actually, and it made me smile. Oh! I got to ask Beth my question (which Rikki got on film). They opened the floor to questions and I kind of bounced over to the microphone all “ME FIRST!” lol. Gina and Beth laughed a little and were both like “Hi Mary.” Yes, I do feel cool that all these people know who I am, I’m just gonna put that out there. There are warm fuzzies involved or some other such cutsey crap lol

More autographs! Gina was first and she signed my shirt and I apologized for bypassing her so quickly last time cause Beth was like RIGHT THERE lol. I told her I loved Jekyll though and DAMNIT I wish I brought it for her to sign. Um... yeah she told me she knew where my loyalties lie lol, which was funny. I have me getting Beth’s autograph this time on film, so I won’t go over that. Though I will say I don’t get why she was so surprised that I actually watched “Nobody.” I mean come on now, I’ve seen pretty much everything she’s ever done lol. Besides, hi, your biggest fan is a lesbian and you make out with a chick in it… come on now xD.

Anyway, Aldis asked who I was since I was hanging out with Rikki all weekend and talking to Beth so I told him and that was yay. He signed my shirt too ^_^

Chris was late… I think he was practicing? I can’t remember. So he didn’t get to sign my shirt. I forgot to bring it to Dantes too, which sucks cause I could have gotten it then.

Anyway! PHOTO OPS! Me and Rikki were at the very very VERY end of that damn line lol. Once again, us and lines don’t mix. We’d rather wander around and get there at the last minute lol. But he did sit there for awhile just because no one knew how the photo ops were even gonna be done until the last minute and we didn’t want to miss anything. Anyway, Rikki gets a phone call for me and her to come see Jose upstairs. He took us aside, and I had to deal with an issue, but it got taken care of. But because we got pulled out of line he told us we could stay with the handicapped people to get our photo ops, which I was glad for because honestly, the way they had people going up and down a million flights of fucking stairs was kind of ridiculous. I hope next year it’s a bit more organized.

Did my group shot first and Chris hugged me and was like “Did you meet Beth?” and I said yes, gave her a hug, he asked the same of Tim and I said yes again lol… um, so yeah, took that picture. Gina was next – I was first in line with her and she kept saying my name and omg I love the way she says my name hahaha. That sounds so lame, but I do. I can barely speak when I’m around her, it’s really ridiculous. I’m like “mehhh pretty woman, brain dribbles out ears…” haha. Um… then it was Beth I believe, yes? I can’t really remember. Yes! I think. Anyway, we talked for a minute about something while she was petting my hair (lol) then she apologized after she realized she was doing it (thankfully I didn’t tell her that I didn’t mind her petting me or something equally as retarded lol). Um, yeah, we took the picture. She was like Ahh! Damnit, you did the sexy thing and I smiled! Which actually happened when we were taking pictures at the banquet… did I say that? I forget, this is ungodly long lol. I’m trying to remember everything and its fucking hard xD

Um, I know Tim was next. He smiled, said hi, the damn lady kept PUSHING me into the actors though, it was annoying.

Afterwards Beth was by the elevators and I asked her if she had read my letter and she said she did. She told me it wasn’t retarded (cause you know me, that’s how I gotta word shit lol) and that it meant a lot to her. She said she wanted to write back to me so I told her she could get my email from Dean or Chris and she said she would. But she was kinda talking about it and I had to stop her because I was so NOT gonna cry in front of all those people, and she was getting a little emotional as well and that’s just really awkward to do in front of an audience.

Oh! I forgot to say that Dean was gonna set it up so me and Rikki could take a private tour of the set on Monday since I wasn’t leaving until Tuesday. So Beth hugged me said she’d see me Monday and that was yay.

Uh… then I did a picture with Aldis which I wish I had because we both threw up the peace sign LOL

Then there was Chris, yay ^_^ I’m standing there waiting and he smirks and goes, “You’re first, huh?” xD Yup yup. I asked him if I could still get into the concert for free cause someone else wanted my ticket and he said sure, just to talk to Eric. However Eric told me no cause of the fire code and… what have you. Sooo… then I bought absolutely every damn Kane merchandise that was on that table lol. Which, btw, fit fucking fantastically. Those damn shirts makes my boobs look AWESOME xD

Then the boys had their panel which was great, I videoed some of that but not as much as I would have liked to cause my damn batteries died. Meh. But a lot more people videoed that than the girls panel so theres more vids of that up on YouTube.

Right so… closing ceremonies! That’s all on video so no need to reiterate that. Afterwards I went to find Dean since he was leaving for LA in the morning and I needed a proper goodbye. However I find out that they aren’t gonna be on the sound stage on Monday – they were gonna be on location – so Beth ended up coming out and saying bye to me instead.

We talked for awhile, fuck if I remember everything about though however I know I said something about not being able to find Undressed too and she looked confused for a minute before she’s like ”Oh god, don’t find that” lol. And yes, yes I will xD I remember her saying she thought it was amazing how the hell I ended up finding all the shit of hers that I have and I told her I had help from Naddy, my co-mod. Told her that she was the one who got me The Summer of My Deflowering, among others. Which then made Beth groan a little and be all like “I knew that would come back to bite me in the ass.” Which, honestly, I don’t see how she feels that way. It was an artistic film, the way they shot it was really interesting, and it wasn’t like her nudity was untasteful in any way. It’s actually one of my favorite performances of hers; the girl she played was so naive and so cute! Anyway, so my mouth filter broke a bit when I told her I didn’t screencap any of the… and I pause and go “er, naughty bits.” LOL. She said she appreciated it haha. Um, I can’t remember what else we talked about. I know we mentioned her role on HIMYM, which I didn’t remember to tell her that that’s how I got into that show in the first place – because I saw her episode on there. Anyway, by the end she hugged me, told me she’s sure she’d see me soon and that she’d email me, so yay :)

( And she did, btw, email me *prance* )

Afterwards me and Rikki did get to chill with Dean for a little bit, and because he’s Dean and knows how to knock down my walls he did manage to make me let out a little bit of emotion. I’m a defensive fucker though, honestly. I will fight everyone till the end before I do break down. But it’s good for me, I know that. Haha he made me write down “I was happy, I had fun” and sign it and keep it in my purse LOL. Oh, therapy xD

Then it was off to Dantes! Man that place was fucking PACKED and hot as hell. Me, Rikki, and Kimber kinda stayed towards the back. Tim bought me and Rikki drinks, which was cool of him. Afterwards me and Rikki went back stage and I gave Chris a hug, told him he fuckin’ rocked it like always. Man, the strippers they got in that joint afterwards are HOT! Lol. I’m awful when it comes to women though, really. Unless I’m drunk and half naked already, or really I guess when I’m “Parker” (my stripper persona). Ironically Parker does better with women then I do xD

Uh, anyway yeah obviously you can tell I’m skating over a whole bunch by now because this is now 6000+ words and I so just wanna be done with it all lol. I went over Rikki’s that night and chilled at her house all through Monday (and slept hardcore, finally). Then I left and went home on Tuesday morning.

Weeee! Okay, the end. Seriously. I need to go… do something else now. Jesus this took forever to write.

But seriously… best weekend ever. I’m just saying :p

Labels: aldis hodge, beth riesgraf, christian kane, con con, dean devlin, gina bellman, leverage, leverage convention, timothy hutton

So excuse me while I absolutely adore Gina Bellman now.

Now, before Leverage, I had never seen her in anything. Except for one episode of ‘Coupling’ I caught on accident while high in a room in Motel 6. I hated that I couldn’t remember the name of the show then, cause I thought it was funny as fuck. However, come Leverage, and me getting insanely impressed by her ability to do that many accents, made me go find Coupling.

Watched all of those in 48 hours. Now it’s one of my favorite comedy series.

Tried to find other stuff of hers, but really, since this is the damn internet, I have jeez, I don’t know, at least 20 clips of just her nudity.

Yeah, she get’s naked a lot. Like, a lot a lot. Which, so not complaining on that front. Really really not.

But, due to her getting naked, after awhile I was like ‘Jesus, is that the only thing she can do?!’ cause usually a lot of not so good actresses try to make up for it with graphic nudity. And I do mean graphic, I’ve seen more of that woman that should be allowed, but then again, that’s why British television and movies are just so much better than American ones haha.

And I’ll be honest, if I was to make a list of my perfect woman, Gina had about 90% of those traits listed. I am very very sexually attracted to her. Like crazy so. And yes, I know she’s old enough to be my mother, but I justify it due to her being my sisters age. My sister is 42, so as long as she’s not significantly older than her, and no where close to my mothers age, than it’s fine. Plus, I have an insane attraction to older women, especially British women. Tell me that’s sick and wrong, I already know. I still feel the need to do Helena Bonham Carter (who also, strangely enough is Gina’s age too). But moving on.

Due to me being rendered completely sexually dumbsruck by her insane beauty I tend to kind of ignore the whole acting part of it. It becomes irrelevant in regards to actresses usually with me. I become a man LOL. I really do, hence again why I mentioned the thing with blondes and how they end up being my favorite actresses… because I see past the whole hottness with them because I don’t feel compelled to want to fuck them.

But I slowly did appreciate Gina’s acting once I learned to see past the insane hottness that is her, and oh my god… oh MY GOD… Jekyll secured that with a fucking BANG.

I’ll admit, while I was incredibly drawn in with the story of it (it’s like fucking Dollhouse, you can’t stop watching because you NEED to know the answers to questions), Claire, Gina’s character, well… I thought she was a bit pathetic. I was like oh come on, this is what made Leverage hire her? THIS?

But come I think the third episode and yeah… THAT is why they hired her. This woman is so insanely talented, one of the most talented actresses I’ve seen in a long time. I can’t even do her justice by trying to explain, but you all need to watch it. Not just for Gina, but just because Jekyll is such an incredibly done series. It’s just… amazing.



There’s a clip from the show, but really… watch the whole thing. I sat on my add yesterday once I found it for 6 hours and watched the whole thing. You just can’t stop, I’m serious. It draws you in so much. So I’ll warn you and say watch it when you can spare 6 hours out of your day.

Here’s a link to watch it online, since I feel the need to pimp it out.

WATCH JEKYLL ONLINE

Anyway, just… god. It’s so sad really, I’ll never be able to look this woman in the eyes when I meet her. I’ll be like god, I’ve seen you naked. I’ve heard you moan. It’s just… wrong LOL. So hot but so wrong.

I probably won’t be able to look any of them in the eyes anyway once I’m through. I’m too publicly known in this fandom online. And I’m also far far too honest.

But oh well. Mary’s embarrassment when that time comes is sure to be amusing none the less.

Labels: gina bellman, jekyll

Walking into my apartment was like walking into just that, an apartment, not a home. It’s all wood floors, white walls, and echoed noises. There’s nothing in it, it doesn’t feel like a home yet, yet for some reason I’m compelled to stay here. I have things I need to do, a lot of things, but it’s freaking ninety something degrees outside everyday and taking public transportation is like an open invitation to get harassed. Usually when I venture out into the world I wear a big sweatshirt, no makeup, and try as hard as I can to look like warmed over shit, but in the summer I can’t. In the summer it’s all boobs and legs. It’s too hot for anything else.

Sometimes I feel like I have this magnetic pull to people that I wish to God I could just turn off. Everyone wants to meet me, everyone wants to talk to me. Why? I’m serious, why? Can you really tell I might possibly be semi-interesting from across the street, across the bus? I put on headphones and make myself to look like a bitch for a reason; I don’t like people. I don’t want to meet you, I just don’t. I have to mentally prepare myself to meet people, I have to go out just for that purpose, or know that where I’m going I’m possibly going to be meeting people.

The worst part? I feel compelled to be nice. I have men hitting on me and I can do nothing else but try to politely tell them I’m gay, for it to usually not make a difference in the end because half of the men that approach me are ghetto mother fuckers and have this delusion that they “can make (me) straight, momma”. I ain’t nobody’s momma, boy.

I really need a job where I can just stay home all the time. No one has any idea how happy that would make me. And yes, while I do have a part-time job that allows me to do so, it doesn’t pay all my bills. I’m running dangerously low on money right now, and I’m not sure if I’m going to be able to pay next months rent, even though I have a special of $325, largely due to the fact that NEXT month it’ll be $850 and I have to go home at the end of the month to Massachusetts. I can’t just not either, my mother set up dentist appointments that she’s going to pay for. I need to fix my meth mouth. Badly.

I keep feeling the urge to strip again, but I promised so many people I wouldn’t anymore, so I don’t really know what to do. It’s hard to get a job in this economy. It just is.

Not that I really could strip even if I wanted to, my dance bag with all my clothes was stolen back in March. Stripper clothes are expensive; I can’t afford them right now.

Plus, I’ve gotten fat. I love how I say that while I’m eating icecream, way to go Mary.

I feel so unproductive right now too. I’ve been staying home, fucking off due to the ungodly heat, and yet still have done nothing to justify it. I could feel better even if I wrote a Leverage fanfiction, or finished one of the two Leverage videos I’m currently in the middle of. Hell, I’d even feel better if I made another porn video, or at least a YouTube one. But I just… don’t feel like it.

I’ve become a Twitter addict. I feel bad for everyone that follows me, I really do. I updated 92 times yesterday, that’s a bit much. Granted most of it was in conversation with other people, but still.

I haven’t talked to my brother in like a week, that’s just not acceptable. I need to call him. Usually we talk every other day. I love him so much, he’s the only one I’m really always happy when I’m around him. I can’t wait to take him to the first Leverage convention, that’s gonna be our thing. I promised him Xena a million years ago, but I haven’t even gone myself, and NOT going to the Leverage one just isn’t an option, so I gotta take him with me. It’s going to be so much fun.

Granted, that probably won’t be for like another year. Maybe longer.

I’m starting to hate America’s view on nudity. I just am at the moment. And I’m completely frustrated with talking to someone else to talk to another person. I don’t like grapevine crap, and while half the time I couldn’t care less that I can’t get in touch with this person, sometimes, like now, it’s frustrating. I’m trying to be courteous, and I don’t know… back to the “fan” rant I had a couple days ago. Seriously. Can I just be Mary for a minute? Is that too much to ask? Fuck the “Sapphire Smoke” persona, I just want to be a person for half a damn second. I don’t like having to go through someone else because really, its not even their problem. It doesn’t specifically concern them, you know? But I’m just stuck behind this little wall right now, I guess. I wanna kick a hole in it, but it only collapses from the other way.

I need to get up the effort to make a crappy webcam porn video. I feel dumb even doing it, I hate webcam bullshit, but it’s the only camera I have at the moment since my other one got stolen, and I need money.

Damnit.

Porn. Naked. Tits. Pussy. All the bullshit.

Though, to be fair to the other side, when I saw Gina Bellman naked I thought like a man. I was like “God DAYUM”. But I don’t know, for some reason with Beth, while it distracted me for a moment (because I’m only human) she’s such a good actress, and her character was so damn INNOCENT, that it made me feel wrong for even looking at her like that. See, that’s what I call good lol. If you can make me feel perverted due to how good your acting is, then mad props, girl. Not that I'm saying Gina isn't a good actress, shes phenomenal, but I don't know, she's really REALLY sexy lol. Beth is very girl next door to me. I'm not usually sexually attracted to blondes (as I am a blonde at the moment, odd, I know)

I still want to see that movie. I’m going to keep saying that until I get it. It looked so CUTE. God lol.

Celine Dion is depressing me at the moment; I need to stop listening to her. I need to go watch Xena, don’t ask me why; I just feel I need to at the moment. So I’m off to do that I guess.

Labels: apartment, beth riesgraf, gina bellman, leverage, public trasportation

So excuse me while I "omg, wtf, flashback" for like, a half a second.

So you all know my obsession with the new series Leverage. So, it should be no surprise that I was randomly looking up the other actors works on YouTube.

Well, I get to Gina Bellman, and it says, "Coupling Lesbian Scene" so of course I'm like, ohh... hot.

I click on it and what do I get?

THE FREAKING BRITISH TV SERIES EPISODE I RANDOMLY STUMBLED UPON A COUPLE MONTHS AGO ON HBO AND DECIDED I LOVED IT BECAUSE OF THAT FUCKING SCENE.

I was like omg, I love British television. And it pissed me off for awhile cause I couldn't even remember the name of the show.

Come to find out, that was actually GINA! It was Gina that was making out with another woman. That's so fucking GREAT you have no idea xD

In other news, my Parker obsession has reached an entirely new level:


TwentyPoundsOfCrazy - A YouTube Channel completely dedicated to Parker from Leverage

Fear it, I'm fucking insane. I swear to god.

( Also I ask if you do subscribe to it that you do not in anyway talk about my personal life on there, thats what my dropvids account is for, and I do not wish to be kicked off there again. Thanks )

Labels: british television, coupling, gina bellman, lesbian, leverage, obsessions, parker, youtube

Since ConCon 2011 was cancelled, a couple of us put on FanCon 2011 instead for those fans that couldn’t switch their flights and whatnot. It was really small, but hella fucking cool. Electric Entertainment took the time out of their schedules to put together a screening for the premiere of season four, a walking locations tour, and a set tour. Not only that, but Gina Bellman, Tim Hutton, and Aldis Hodge showed up! Since none of them were getting paid for all this, it was probably the coolest thing I’ve ever seen a show do for their fans.

OUR FANDOM IS MORE AWESOME THAN YOURS, BITCHES.

Though I loved ConCon last year, it was nice to actually not have every single second of every single day scheduled. It gave us a lot more time to hang out with our friends and be awesomely stupid and amazing. “Boobs” was the primary topic of the weekend though I guess with my friends, no surprise there xD I drank… probably far too much than I should have in the span of four days, but hey; it’s vacation.

I got laid, lol, which was nice. However that did cause some drama which I wasn’t really prepared for since I’ve never actually thought people gave much of a shit about what I did.

I wish Beth had been there, but I guess she had her kid for the weekend. It would have been nice to… I don’t know. Even if she had come, I doubt we would have had the chance to actually talk, so I don’t know what I wanted. It probably doesn’t matter.

But it was seriously one of the funnest weekends of my life. The end of the month is probably gonna be looking the same way with some of our friends coming down for the Kane concert and Ali’s birthday. Then Rikki’s birthday is like a week or two after I think.

I can’t talk about the season four premiere specifically, but let me say this: number one, it was fucking amazing; and number two, there’s a part in there that’s gonna have you crying. And me? I don’t cry usually. But I totally did, I’ll admit it lol.

I didn’t do the set tour last year so I’m glad I got to this weekend. Seeing it was… really fucking cool. I don’t know how else to explain it. It’s like, you see it on your screen but then you’re fucking in it and… yeah. Just fucking cool as shit, dude.

I’m still wiped from the weekend so I’m not going to do into any more depth with this, but I loved every second of it, and I can’t wait for either the next ConCon or the next FanCon. At this point, it doesn’t matter if it’s official or not because Leverage fans still know how to have a good fucking time regardless.

Labels: aldis hodge, beth riesgraf, gina bellman, leverage, leverage convention, timothy hutton

I guess before I start rambling on for about ten pages, to start I’d like to especially thank Dean, Beth, Chris, Tim, and Rikki for making this weekend incredibly special for me. Love you guys, all in your own special way, haha.

This was the best weekend of my life, and I don’t use that lightly. Fuck, I’m not even sure on where to start.

I guess it would make sense to start at the beginning, so Thursday it is. First of all, let me tell you all that my flight went out around 5am EST (the time I usually go to sleep) and got in at 11am PST. I had one hour of sleep, and not a full, constant hour. I was slightly delirious for being up for over 24 hours, but
I was too excited to let it really bother me. I mean fuck, I was in Portland at the freakin’ Leverage convention. Who the hell needs sleep? I was jacked up on Monster for most of that day lol.

Rick came and met me at the airport and we chilled for a little while until I went to go see Dean. I know I never really talked about him in here, at least not by specific name, but I think after the convention it’s kind of obvious that he doesn’t just know me as “hey, that’s the Leverage fangirl.” Dean has been an amazing friend to me over the last year and I owe him, fuck, basically my life. I won’t go into details but he seriously has been an amazing friend to me and has helped me out when no one else would. So getting to meet him finally face to face was awesome. I practically tackled him, ain’t gonna lie lol.

After that I went to the Meet and Greet thingie. I tacklesquished Kimber and then when Sage walked in and I squealed and totally interrupted Marc’s speech (oh well lol). Met Rikki then, but I didn’t know her from Twitter really so we didn’t talk much. That damn room was packed full and was hot as hell. I didn’t eat, though I probably should have lol. My nerves were going haywire though. Afterwards a bunch of us went to Mo Mo’s to get some drinks (or a lot of drinks, if you have seen the video I took haha). I’m not really sure how but me and Rikki completely gravitated towards each other that night and I ended up spending the night at her place instead of at Cole’s. It was fun – I gave Rose a friggin lap dance hahaha. Part of me is like hmm maybe I shouldn’t have put that up on the YouTube channel but the other part of me is like fuck it, I had my clothes on at least xD And it ain’t like my subscribers don’t know what I do for a living anyway.

Oh. Actually I found out there’s this one cunt on Twitter who apparently decided to talk shit to my friends at the last Kane concert they all went to, saying like “Do you know what Mary IS?!” And then went on to say I’m a meth addict and a whore. Bitch, first of all, on the 28th I’ll be clean for a year. Second of all, while I won’t deny that I am a whore, trying to turn my friends against me is fucked up and vindictive. You are so fuckin’ lucky you weren’t at Con because shit would have went down. You think I would’ve gotten kicked out? Think again. Bet my last dollar you would have though.

But moving on. I barely got any sleep that night – too excited.

Also, let me point out that from here on out me and Rikki were completely inseparable. We were like attached at the hip the rest of the convention. LOVE YOU TWIN! Black King Queen / White Knight! Haha

Friday we got our badges, and me and Rikki have an aversion to standing in lines so we just kind of waited over by the tables so we could jump in at the last minute. Turns out we didn’t have to though; the lady working it apparently knew who we were and gave them to us while we were just standing there. We got ones that had a shiny little “Participant” ribbon on them (this is why we’re awesome, btw LOL). But for some fucked up reason, I got first row and she got eighth. I tried talking to Rachel about that and then to Dean, but there was really nothing they could do. Thankfully someone else gave Rikki their seat up front for some of the panels, which was super sweet of them. If not I was just going to have her take my seat during the guy’s panel, since she really loves Tim. I really wasn’t expecting front row either, I’m not really sure who’s doing that was, but thank you!

Anyway, Friday was my panel. I was nervous like hell going on stage and talking to a bunch of people. I’ve always been the girl who goes up in front of the class to present a project and my voice shakes and I stutter and shit. So I’m up there with a bloody microphone in my hand and like a hundred people staring at me and it was… actually not as hard as I thought it was going to be. It might sound stupid but after I showed my videos I didn’t actually expect people to clap lol. I got kind of startled when that happened, but it was nice. I got a bit freaked when I turned around and saw myself all on the big screen haha. I’m just not used to stuff like that, but it was really cool.

Directly afterwards, some photographer comes up to me and says he wants to take pictures of me. I was kind of taken aback by that, but it was really cool to play model again. I’ve gotten two of the pictures back but I hope I get more *bounces* I look super fucking WHITE in them. Its sexy as fuck haha.

So anyway, to backtrack a bit, during the panel someone asked me if I ever thought of doing this professionally and I kind of… said a little bit more than I should of. So of course, being the sleep deprived and over emotional human being that I am I get all upset until I can find Dean and cry and apologize. Of course, like always, I made a huge deal over nothing, but at least he’s used to that lol. Seriously, tiny things are always the end of the freaking world with me. But it was cool to see that Dean sat in for my panel and I saw John there for a little bit – I felt cool xD

Anyway, after that; me, Rikki, Jason, Robert, and Ali kind of all just gravitated together for the next couple hours. Their room was officially dubbed the party room, pretty much haha.

The cocktail party… haha. Oh lord. I got SO fucking trashed. I had eight 7 and 7s, which was what? “The Blow It Up Job”? Lol. I know I had one “Five Pounds of Crazy” (fail, Rikki! It’s twenty pounds! Lol) which was I think a kamikaze. Fuck if I remember. Anyway, that was really fucking fun. Got to take pictures with a shit ton of people. Both John Rogers and Chris Downey knew who I was which I thought was freaking epic. Rick and Gerald were both really fun to hang out with too, I’m upset I missed their panel but I believe autographs were going on then and we all know how crazy that shit was. Albert Kim wanted a picture with me, which I thought was cool too.

Me and Rikki were outside smoking our hundredth drunken cigarette of the night when Rachel came out and told us we had to help herd the crowd of Leverage fans away from the entrance where the actors would be coming in. Finally we made it back upstairs to join civilization and then the actors come out. Now, I’m not gonna lie… sadly I didn’t even remember this, but I have video proof lol. When Beth came out I did the whole “OMG OMG OMG OMG” thing lol. Yeah, I totally cut that out of the video that’s on YouTube hahaha. I blame being trashed and sleep deprived. I totally fangirled and it’s completely embarrassing *dies*

I do remember someone yelling out “CHRIS!” though so I yelled out “BETH!” to compensate haha.

Anyway, she totally didn’t even look at me and it made me sad since I knew she knew what I looked like and I’m not exactly hard to spot. Tim however did come over and introduce himself and to say hi to Rikki. That guy is fucking awesome, I’m serious. I had no idea how cool he was until this weekend haha. Anyway, my drunk ass did something stupid later that I won’t talk about but thankfully only Rikki was there for that part. After I left and me and Cole downed about five jager bombs in fifteen minutes and then headed off back to his place. I slept a little, thank god, but not much.

I can’t remember when exactly I raided the merchandise room, but I definitely bought pretty much everything on the fucking table haha. It was all really well priced too, which I’m thankful for.

The next morning drunk me tore Cole a new asshole. This is why I don’t do well with roommates, or being hung over lol. I think I scared him a little xD

Anyway, yeah, the next day we all met up and went to ‘The Five’ panel. I videoed most of that and it’s up on YouTube. I was so fucking excited to see Beth ya’ll don’t even know lol. But it was really funny and entertaining. I can’t describe it and give it justice so thank god for the videos hahaha.

So next… autographs. Oh god, the fucking autographs. Me and Rikki stayed at the back of the line for that. Lines and stuff like that are hard for me. There’s too many people, and especially with something like this emotions are running high and it really fucks with me. I actually started slightly hyperventilating at one point, not being able to deal with everyone around me and their emotions on top of my own. I was able to chill though eventually.

Gerald and Rick came out and Gerald signed my shirt but Rick’s person wouldn’t let him so he said he’d come sign it later. I didn’t even know they were signing autographs. Lame – they should have advertised that better.

Then Marc comes up and he’s like “Why are you two waiting in line?” and we’re like “Um…” so he herds us to the front of the line. Apparently since we’re involved in the convention we didn’t have to wait, which was cool.

Anyway, Tim’s first. I thank him for his portrayal of Nate and how it’s helped me work through my own addiction. He was really cool, talked to me and Rikki for awhile and kind of held up the line for a little while lol.

Then there’s Gina. First of all, she looked at my name tag and goes, “OhShinyTomato? You’re Mary right? You’re doing the fan video panel?” and I shit you not I was like “You know who I am?!” I was so… god, I don’t know. Out of all the people to completely have that fan girl mind blank in front of, it was Gina. She’s so… sophistication and poise though and it’s kind of intimidating. She totally just… I dunno. She made my brain dribble out of my ears. She’s so fucking sexy and her accent makes me melt lol.

So then I can see Beth looking at me out of my peripheral vision and my heart is going like a million miles an hour. I was fucking terrified. But I turned and looked at her, she smiled and said hi, and I hugged her. It was just kind of instinctual lol. But then out of fucking NO WHERE comes people running up with cameras and a bloody video camera taking pictures and video of us and it was slightly fucking overwhelming. We kind of looked at each other like ‘holy shit.’ And in one way I was expecting it, but I guess in another I didn’t think it would actually happen so it kind of freaked me out.

Anyway, I was like “I don’t know if Dean told you, but he was supposed to set something up so where could meet privately so all that didn’t happen when we first met.” And she said yeah, that Dean told her, and that she was going to talk to him afterwards so I could meet with her privately later in the day. She signed my picture, apologized for not really personalizing it besides my name but I said that was fine. I told her I was really nervous about meeting her and she told me she was a little nervous about meeting me too, which made me feel better and I thought it was kind of cute lol. Um… said something about wanting her to sign my Nobody DVD but I didn’t have it on me so I said I’d bring it back the next day.

But let me just say something to put it out there – TV and photos doesn’t do this woman justice. She is stunningly beautiful. It kind of shocked me to be honest. I knew she was pretty but when she smiles it like lights up her whole face. And she’s really soft spoken and super fucking sweet. And then there’s me; loud mouthed, brash, and inappropriate and I’m like god, how the hell did someone like you end up with me as your biggest fan? I mean I’m a fucking mess, I’m trashy, I’m rude… and she’s so the complete opposite. It’s weird.

Anyway, Aldis was next and he didn’t know who I was but that was cool haha. We didn’t really talk much.

Then I see Chris and he comes and gives me a big hug. He asked if I was going to the concert and um, duh. I told him I did end up buying a ticket, since originally I didn’t have one and he said that it didn’t matter and that he’d still make sure I could get in. But he took too long to get back to me and I got all paranoid about it haha. Then again, to be fair to him, I didn’t even email him until like the last minute. I’m such a procrastinator, for real. Anyway, it was totally cool seeing him again. He’s my favorite man lol. Well, okay, after Dean. Still.

Then I went over to Dean, John, and Chris’ table and they all signed my shirt since I figured I might as well get it littered with signature now lol. Talked to Dean about what Beth said he said he’d set it up at the Banquet. Then me and Rikki talked to Rachel and then introduced us to some reporter who interviewed us (but only used Rikki in the interview and posted a HIDEOUS picture of me lol)

Then Jackie, Rachel’s assistant (I think? I believe, anyway) comes up to me and hands me something and says “Beth wanted you to have this.” So I look at it and it’s another autograph that says “Hi Mary, Thank you for everything, your support is so amazing! xo Beth” so I was like awww yay! That made me wicked happy, ain’t gonna lie. Jackie said she didn’t want to give it to me in the autograph line and have people get upset that she wrote something more to me than everyone else. I’m happy though – yay for smiling :)

Then we got autographs with Mark Sheppard who entertained us with a CSI story. I never saw his eps on CSI so I was just kinda listening to him talk cause the man could read a fucking phonebook and I’d find it fascinating LOL. He’s got such a nice voice.

I wish I had something of Dollhouse for him to sign damnit, but I still haven’t even bought the DVDs. Slacker. I will though! Sometime… haha

Anyway, after that we kind of chilled for a little bit and then I ran downstairs to go see Dean’s panel with John and Chris. I got a little of that on video too. They’re all really entertaining when they’re together and told some awesome stories.

Fuck, random thought – I don’t know when it was that everyone and their mother was coming up to me and being like “BETH HAS A TATTOO! DID YOU KNOW THAT?!” and um, no I didn’t lol. Nor did I even notice she had one either, but apparently it was on her ankle. I think she actually does have another one, at least that’s what it looked like in one movie, but that wouldn’t have been showing at the convention lol. There, I was kind of stuck on her beautiful face to notice anything else anyway. I barely even notice what she was wearing, which was a first. Me and Beth’s fashion doesn’t ever agree lol. Most of the time I look at pictures and I’m like “Really?” =/ But to be fair, she’s all girly and I’m all not so… bound to be some disagreement on that front lol. Though I did notice her dress at the banquet, that was really pretty, and I wanted her fucking boots she wore on Sunday. Those things were bad ass xD

Right anyway, so I was supposed to have my second panel at 5:30 but the autographs were running really late and my panel was supposed to be in that room. So Rachel said it’d probably be canceled and to talk to Marc. Well I couldn’t find him and my phone was dead the entire convention so that didn’t help. Finally he texted Rikki and told her that barely anyone showed up anyway so if I didn’t want to do it I didn’t have to. I know some people were pissed about this but I was STARVING. I really needed to eat cause I didn’t all day until then. I did one on Friday so I figured it’d be okay. So sorry for those of you that did show up for that, I apologize. Time constraints, confusion, and I was hungry.

Um… so right, the banquet. The food was AMAZING. Oh my god, was that shit good lol. Andy Lange preformed and was really good (forgot to mention he played during the Cocktail party too). Me and Rikki were downstairs having a smoke when she got a call that Deans looking for me so we head back up and he waves me over and I get to finally meet Beth privately. It’s funny cause my first reaction was “Whoa, you are not normally that tall” LOL. She’s a god two inches shorter than me normally but she was like two taller than me when I was standing next to her and it was weird for a second haha.

Anyway we said hi, hugged, and Rikki reminded me to give her my letter I wrote. It wasn’t like an OMG I LOVE YOU kind of letter, it wasn’t even fangirlish, but there was some things I did want her to know that I basically didn’t have the balls to say to her face. I’ve mentioned it in this blog before, about how much Parker has helped me personally, so it was basically about that. I felt kinda stupid writing it and giving it to her, but there really wasn’t any other way unless we both wanted to get up getting weepy and emotional and I try to stay away from emotions as much as I can. I always put on a dead voice and detach myself from reality to handle it and it wouldn’t have meant as much if I did it that way.

So we talked for a bit and then we watched Storm Large perform which - oh my god - that bitch is amazing! Which reminds me I totally need to go download some of her music now. Anyway, afterwards we talked a little more, and fuck; she was so damn nice lol. She thanked me for everything I did for her and told me I was beautiful and talented and strong and thank god I had a handle on myself at that point because I probably would have cried. I don’t know why her saying that meant so much to me but it did, as lame as that is since you know, I barely know her. But whatever. Um… shit, I’m trying to remember what we all talked about. I knew I should have done this blog earlier lol. I remember her saying to not take it personally if she doesn’t respond to me online (which, leads me to oh god does she know when I threw my hissy fit and took everything down? I hope not – me and my fucking stupid emotions, man) but she said she knows its weird with the line of actors and fans and yada yada. Erm… hm. What else? I remember Rick came up and signed my T-shirt and then she did too (she put #1 fan on it lol). Oh! I showed her my bracelet Kimber made for me and the OhShinyTomato badge that both said I was her number one fan and it made her smile.

OH! I got to ask her if her full name was Elizabeth or Bethany. It’s just Beth lol. There’s a reason behind that, but that’s her business. Or, her families anyway.

We talked about her photography; I told her there’s a back way into her website and she said she knows, which I don’t know if she knew because I tweeted that at her or what. Um... told her she’s gotta post more pictures lol. Fuck, I can’t remember everything, but yay for that good chunk lol. Afterwards I asked to take a picture with her and the first one came out blurry cause I forgot the flash, the second she said I did it too high up so she took the camera and tried to do it but put her finger over the flash lol. Awesome photography skillz, lemme assure you :P Anyway, then Paul took the picture for us and OH! I forgot to say Paul was there and he told me Sugarloaf was picked up – so I’ll be on TV! (at some point lol)

Um… anyway, rest of the banquet was cool. Storm Large told me I was gorgeous and I was like “Wow.” Just cause of the way she said it – I mean people told me all through the convention I was beautiful but the way she said it sounded like she really meant it. I remember Cole told me Storm was like me, and then when I was talking to Beth right at the beginning with Dean he said the same thing. He said her music is like my story – but of course my story isn’t the happiest one as you all know.

MY VAGINA IS EIGHT MILES WIDE… lol sorry. Moving on.

Um… got a pic with Aldis… Cole was being a pussy and wanted ME to go up to Beth to get a picture for him but I wasn’t gonna interrupt her at her table. He did eventually get one though and I went up to her after cause I forgot to tell her thank you for the other autograph. Um… oh yeah than Tim came up to our table and I may or may not have squeed just a little bit *headdesk* lol. I was happy for Rikki though cause she wanted a picture with him. I bounced a little bit when I got mine with him. Lol

Aldis did the electric slide which was great lol. Got that on video too.

I remember looking at Beth when she was over by the table and then getting absolutely horrified once I realized what I was doing lol. So of course, because I can’t stop shit from coming out of my mouth, I blurt out, “Oh god, I just checked out her ass! I feel like such a pervert!” lol. I’m serious. I’m insanely respectful of Beth, it’s kind of stupid lol. While I think she’s beautiful, I refuse to let myself think of her in a sexy way. It just feels weird to me. Besides, if I ever did the nasty to myself thinking about her do you really think I’d be able to look her in the eye? (*coughs* and that right there was probably my Gina problem lol) But Beth is so fucking SWEET that half the time I feel like my just my presence corrupts her lol. She’s just… nice damnit. I feel like a pile of shit next to her so I attempt to better myself in a way. Which, for the record, is really damn hard. Trying to think before I speak? Ya’ll have no idea how difficult that is for me. And it’s not like you can learn class instantly, here. I am very unclassy, I won’t deny it. I’m a trashy bitch, but I’m also a creative, smart, and talented as fuck trashy bitch lol.

Anyway, banquet was fun… afterwards me and Rikki were outside smoking a cigarette and Beth and Tim left in the limo. Right when they pulled out they popped out of the top to yell and wave bye to us (which was so epic because it nearly made Rikki jump out of her skin lol).

Afterwards we all went up to Robert, Jason, and Ali’s room and had the LQQ party! Which I laid SMACK DOWN on, btw. I have most games played AND overall winner. Robert just made my shirt too *prance* And then of course we do toasts and everyone gets a bit weepy except for me because I like to use that dead monotonic voice and pretend I don’t feel anything, which is always awkward because everyone knows what I’m doing lol. Um… yeah. God this is getting long lol.

We played Kimber’s Leverage trivia game btw. I got all the Beth questions right except one – her character’s name on Scorcher. I remembered after they said it, and I was like yes! Krissy with a K! hahaha. I’m such a dork.

SUNDAY! I missed Mark’s panel unfortunately because I was fucking STARVING. But the girls were up and that was YAY! Beth waved to me when she came out and it made me happy lol. Um… not much to say about that since I pretty much videoed the entire damn thing, but she did look directly at me when she talked about helping people, you can see it on film actually, and it made me smile. Oh! I got to ask Beth my question (which Rikki got on film). They opened the floor to questions and I kind of bounced over to the microphone all “ME FIRST!” lol. Gina and Beth laughed a little and were both like “Hi Mary.” Yes, I do feel cool that all these people know who I am, I’m just gonna put that out there. There are warm fuzzies involved or some other such cutsey crap lol

More autographs! Gina was first and she signed my shirt and I apologized for bypassing her so quickly last time cause Beth was like RIGHT THERE lol. I told her I loved Jekyll though and DAMNIT I wish I brought it for her to sign. Um... yeah she told me she knew where my loyalties lie lol, which was funny. I have me getting Beth’s autograph this time on film, so I won’t go over that. Though I will say I don’t get why she was so surprised that I actually watched “Nobody.” I mean come on now, I’ve seen pretty much everything she’s ever done lol. Besides, hi, your biggest fan is a lesbian and you make out with a chick in it… come on now xD.

Anyway, Aldis asked who I was since I was hanging out with Rikki all weekend and talking to Beth so I told him and that was yay. He signed my shirt too ^_^

Chris was late… I think he was practicing? I can’t remember. So he didn’t get to sign my shirt. I forgot to bring it to Dantes too, which sucks cause I could have gotten it then.

Anyway! PHOTO OPS! Me and Rikki were at the very very VERY end of that damn line lol. Once again, us and lines don’t mix. We’d rather wander around and get there at the last minute lol. But he did sit there for awhile just because no one knew how the photo ops were even gonna be done until the last minute and we didn’t want to miss anything. Anyway, Rikki gets a phone call for me and her to come see Jose upstairs. He took us aside, and I had to deal with an issue, but it got taken care of. But because we got pulled out of line he told us we could stay with the handicapped people to get our photo ops, which I was glad for because honestly, the way they had people going up and down a million flights of fucking stairs was kind of ridiculous. I hope next year it’s a bit more organized.

Did my group shot first and Chris hugged me and was like “Did you meet Beth?” and I said yes, gave her a hug, he asked the same of Tim and I said yes again lol… um, so yeah, took that picture. Gina was next – I was first in line with her and she kept saying my name and omg I love the way she says my name hahaha. That sounds so lame, but I do. I can barely speak when I’m around her, it’s really ridiculous. I’m like “mehhh pretty woman, brain dribbles out ears…” haha. Um… then it was Beth I believe, yes? I can’t really remember. Yes! I think. Anyway, we talked for a minute about something while she was petting my hair (lol) then she apologized after she realized she was doing it (thankfully I didn’t tell her that I didn’t mind her petting me or something equally as retarded lol). Um, yeah, we took the picture. She was like Ahh! Damnit, you did the sexy thing and I smiled! Which actually happened when we were taking pictures at the banquet… did I say that? I forget, this is ungodly long lol. I’m trying to remember everything and its fucking hard xD

Um, I know Tim was next. He smiled, said hi, the damn lady kept PUSHING me into the actors though, it was annoying.

Afterwards Beth was by the elevators and I asked her if she had read my letter and she said she did. She told me it wasn’t retarded (cause you know me, that’s how I gotta word shit lol) and that it meant a lot to her. She said she wanted to write back to me so I told her she could get my email from Dean or Chris and she said she would. But she was kinda talking about it and I had to stop her because I was so NOT gonna cry in front of all those people, and she was getting a little emotional as well and that’s just really awkward to do in front of an audience.

Oh! I forgot to say that Dean was gonna set it up so me and Rikki could take a private tour of the set on Monday since I wasn’t leaving until Tuesday. So Beth hugged me said she’d see me Monday and that was yay.

Uh… then I did a picture with Aldis which I wish I had because we both threw up the peace sign LOL

Then there was Chris, yay ^_^ I’m standing there waiting and he smirks and goes, “You’re first, huh?” xD Yup yup. I asked him if I could still get into the concert for free cause someone else wanted my ticket and he said sure, just to talk to Eric. However Eric told me no cause of the fire code and… what have you. Sooo… then I bought absolutely every damn Kane merchandise that was on that table lol. Which, btw, fit fucking fantastically. Those damn shirts makes my boobs look AWESOME xD

Then the boys had their panel which was great, I videoed some of that but not as much as I would have liked to cause my damn batteries died. Meh. But a lot more people videoed that than the girls panel so theres more vids of that up on YouTube.

Right so… closing ceremonies! That’s all on video so no need to reiterate that. Afterwards I went to find Dean since he was leaving for LA in the morning and I needed a proper goodbye. However I find out that they aren’t gonna be on the sound stage on Monday – they were gonna be on location – so Beth ended up coming out and saying bye to me instead.

We talked for awhile, fuck if I remember everything about though however I know I said something about not being able to find Undressed too and she looked confused for a minute before she’s like ”Oh god, don’t find that” lol. And yes, yes I will xD I remember her saying she thought it was amazing how the hell I ended up finding all the shit of hers that I have and I told her I had help from Naddy, my co-mod. Told her that she was the one who got me The Summer of My Deflowering, among others. Which then made Beth groan a little and be all like “I knew that would come back to bite me in the ass.” Which, honestly, I don’t see how she feels that way. It was an artistic film, the way they shot it was really interesting, and it wasn’t like her nudity was untasteful in any way. It’s actually one of my favorite performances of hers; the girl she played was so naive and so cute! Anyway, so my mouth filter broke a bit when I told her I didn’t screencap any of the… and I pause and go “er, naughty bits.” LOL. She said she appreciated it haha. Um, I can’t remember what else we talked about. I know we mentioned her role on HIMYM, which I didn’t remember to tell her that that’s how I got into that show in the first place – because I saw her episode on there. Anyway, by the end she hugged me, told me she’s sure she’d see me soon and that she’d email me, so yay :)

( And she did, btw, email me *prance* )

Afterwards me and Rikki did get to chill with Dean for a little bit, and because he’s Dean and knows how to knock down my walls he did manage to make me let out a little bit of emotion. I’m a defensive fucker though, honestly. I will fight everyone till the end before I do break down. But it’s good for me, I know that. Haha he made me write down “I was happy, I had fun” and sign it and keep it in my purse LOL. Oh, therapy xD

Then it was off to Dantes! Man that place was fucking PACKED and hot as hell. Me, Rikki, and Kimber kinda stayed towards the back. Tim bought me and Rikki drinks, which was cool of him. Afterwards me and Rikki went back stage and I gave Chris a hug, told him he fuckin’ rocked it like always. Man, the strippers they got in that joint afterwards are HOT! Lol. I’m awful when it comes to women though, really. Unless I’m drunk and half naked already, or really I guess when I’m “Parker” (my stripper persona). Ironically Parker does better with women then I do xD

Uh, anyway yeah obviously you can tell I’m skating over a whole bunch by now because this is now 6000+ words and I so just wanna be done with it all lol. I went over Rikki’s that night and chilled at her house all through Monday (and slept hardcore, finally). Then I left and went home on Tuesday morning.

Weeee! Okay, the end. Seriously. I need to go… do something else now. Jesus this took forever to write.

But seriously… best weekend ever. I’m just saying :p

Labels: aldis hodge, beth riesgraf, christian kane, con con, dean devlin, gina bellman, leverage, leverage convention, timothy hutton

So excuse me while I absolutely adore Gina Bellman now.

Now, before Leverage, I had never seen her in anything. Except for one episode of ‘Coupling’ I caught on accident while high in a room in Motel 6. I hated that I couldn’t remember the name of the show then, cause I thought it was funny as fuck. However, come Leverage, and me getting insanely impressed by her ability to do that many accents, made me go find Coupling.

Watched all of those in 48 hours. Now it’s one of my favorite comedy series.

Tried to find other stuff of hers, but really, since this is the damn internet, I have jeez, I don’t know, at least 20 clips of just her nudity.

Yeah, she get’s naked a lot. Like, a lot a lot. Which, so not complaining on that front. Really really not.

But, due to her getting naked, after awhile I was like ‘Jesus, is that the only thing she can do?!’ cause usually a lot of not so good actresses try to make up for it with graphic nudity. And I do mean graphic, I’ve seen more of that woman that should be allowed, but then again, that’s why British television and movies are just so much better than American ones haha.

And I’ll be honest, if I was to make a list of my perfect woman, Gina had about 90% of those traits listed. I am very very sexually attracted to her. Like crazy so. And yes, I know she’s old enough to be my mother, but I justify it due to her being my sisters age. My sister is 42, so as long as she’s not significantly older than her, and no where close to my mothers age, than it’s fine. Plus, I have an insane attraction to older women, especially British women. Tell me that’s sick and wrong, I already know. I still feel the need to do Helena Bonham Carter (who also, strangely enough is Gina’s age too). But moving on.

Due to me being rendered completely sexually dumbsruck by her insane beauty I tend to kind of ignore the whole acting part of it. It becomes irrelevant in regards to actresses usually with me. I become a man LOL. I really do, hence again why I mentioned the thing with blondes and how they end up being my favorite actresses… because I see past the whole hottness with them because I don’t feel compelled to want to fuck them.

But I slowly did appreciate Gina’s acting once I learned to see past the insane hottness that is her, and oh my god… oh MY GOD… Jekyll secured that with a fucking BANG.

I’ll admit, while I was incredibly drawn in with the story of it (it’s like fucking Dollhouse, you can’t stop watching because you NEED to know the answers to questions), Claire, Gina’s character, well… I thought she was a bit pathetic. I was like oh come on, this is what made Leverage hire her? THIS?

But come I think the third episode and yeah… THAT is why they hired her. This woman is so insanely talented, one of the most talented actresses I’ve seen in a long time. I can’t even do her justice by trying to explain, but you all need to watch it. Not just for Gina, but just because Jekyll is such an incredibly done series. It’s just… amazing.



There’s a clip from the show, but really… watch the whole thing. I sat on my add yesterday once I found it for 6 hours and watched the whole thing. You just can’t stop, I’m serious. It draws you in so much. So I’ll warn you and say watch it when you can spare 6 hours out of your day.

Here’s a link to watch it online, since I feel the need to pimp it out.

WATCH JEKYLL ONLINE

Anyway, just… god. It’s so sad really, I’ll never be able to look this woman in the eyes when I meet her. I’ll be like god, I’ve seen you naked. I’ve heard you moan. It’s just… wrong LOL. So hot but so wrong.

I probably won’t be able to look any of them in the eyes anyway once I’m through. I’m too publicly known in this fandom online. And I’m also far far too honest.

But oh well. Mary’s embarrassment when that time comes is sure to be amusing none the less.

Labels: gina bellman, jekyll

Walking into my apartment was like walking into just that, an apartment, not a home. It’s all wood floors, white walls, and echoed noises. There’s nothing in it, it doesn’t feel like a home yet, yet for some reason I’m compelled to stay here. I have things I need to do, a lot of things, but it’s freaking ninety something degrees outside everyday and taking public transportation is like an open invitation to get harassed. Usually when I venture out into the world I wear a big sweatshirt, no makeup, and try as hard as I can to look like warmed over shit, but in the summer I can’t. In the summer it’s all boobs and legs. It’s too hot for anything else.

Sometimes I feel like I have this magnetic pull to people that I wish to God I could just turn off. Everyone wants to meet me, everyone wants to talk to me. Why? I’m serious, why? Can you really tell I might possibly be semi-interesting from across the street, across the bus? I put on headphones and make myself to look like a bitch for a reason; I don’t like people. I don’t want to meet you, I just don’t. I have to mentally prepare myself to meet people, I have to go out just for that purpose, or know that where I’m going I’m possibly going to be meeting people.

The worst part? I feel compelled to be nice. I have men hitting on me and I can do nothing else but try to politely tell them I’m gay, for it to usually not make a difference in the end because half of the men that approach me are ghetto mother fuckers and have this delusion that they “can make (me) straight, momma”. I ain’t nobody’s momma, boy.

I really need a job where I can just stay home all the time. No one has any idea how happy that would make me. And yes, while I do have a part-time job that allows me to do so, it doesn’t pay all my bills. I’m running dangerously low on money right now, and I’m not sure if I’m going to be able to pay next months rent, even though I have a special of $325, largely due to the fact that NEXT month it’ll be $850 and I have to go home at the end of the month to Massachusetts. I can’t just not either, my mother set up dentist appointments that she’s going to pay for. I need to fix my meth mouth. Badly.

I keep feeling the urge to strip again, but I promised so many people I wouldn’t anymore, so I don’t really know what to do. It’s hard to get a job in this economy. It just is.

Not that I really could strip even if I wanted to, my dance bag with all my clothes was stolen back in March. Stripper clothes are expensive; I can’t afford them right now.

Plus, I’ve gotten fat. I love how I say that while I’m eating icecream, way to go Mary.

I feel so unproductive right now too. I’ve been staying home, fucking off due to the ungodly heat, and yet still have done nothing to justify it. I could feel better even if I wrote a Leverage fanfiction, or finished one of the two Leverage videos I’m currently in the middle of. Hell, I’d even feel better if I made another porn video, or at least a YouTube one. But I just… don’t feel like it.

I’ve become a Twitter addict. I feel bad for everyone that follows me, I really do. I updated 92 times yesterday, that’s a bit much. Granted most of it was in conversation with other people, but still.

I haven’t talked to my brother in like a week, that’s just not acceptable. I need to call him. Usually we talk every other day. I love him so much, he’s the only one I’m really always happy when I’m around him. I can’t wait to take him to the first Leverage convention, that’s gonna be our thing. I promised him Xena a million years ago, but I haven’t even gone myself, and NOT going to the Leverage one just isn’t an option, so I gotta take him with me. It’s going to be so much fun.

Granted, that probably won’t be for like another year. Maybe longer.

I’m starting to hate America’s view on nudity. I just am at the moment. And I’m completely frustrated with talking to someone else to talk to another person. I don’t like grapevine crap, and while half the time I couldn’t care less that I can’t get in touch with this person, sometimes, like now, it’s frustrating. I’m trying to be courteous, and I don’t know… back to the “fan” rant I had a couple days ago. Seriously. Can I just be Mary for a minute? Is that too much to ask? Fuck the “Sapphire Smoke” persona, I just want to be a person for half a damn second. I don’t like having to go through someone else because really, its not even their problem. It doesn’t specifically concern them, you know? But I’m just stuck behind this little wall right now, I guess. I wanna kick a hole in it, but it only collapses from the other way.

I need to get up the effort to make a crappy webcam porn video. I feel dumb even doing it, I hate webcam bullshit, but it’s the only camera I have at the moment since my other one got stolen, and I need money.

Damnit.

Porn. Naked. Tits. Pussy. All the bullshit.

Though, to be fair to the other side, when I saw Gina Bellman naked I thought like a man. I was like “God DAYUM”. But I don’t know, for some reason with Beth, while it distracted me for a moment (because I’m only human) she’s such a good actress, and her character was so damn INNOCENT, that it made me feel wrong for even looking at her like that. See, that’s what I call good lol. If you can make me feel perverted due to how good your acting is, then mad props, girl. Not that I'm saying Gina isn't a good actress, shes phenomenal, but I don't know, she's really REALLY sexy lol. Beth is very girl next door to me. I'm not usually sexually attracted to blondes (as I am a blonde at the moment, odd, I know)

I still want to see that movie. I’m going to keep saying that until I get it. It looked so CUTE. God lol.

Celine Dion is depressing me at the moment; I need to stop listening to her. I need to go watch Xena, don’t ask me why; I just feel I need to at the moment. So I’m off to do that I guess.

Labels: apartment, beth riesgraf, gina bellman, leverage, public trasportation

So excuse me while I "omg, wtf, flashback" for like, a half a second.

So you all know my obsession with the new series Leverage. So, it should be no surprise that I was randomly looking up the other actors works on YouTube.

Well, I get to Gina Bellman, and it says, "Coupling Lesbian Scene" so of course I'm like, ohh... hot.

I click on it and what do I get?

THE FREAKING BRITISH TV SERIES EPISODE I RANDOMLY STUMBLED UPON A COUPLE MONTHS AGO ON HBO AND DECIDED I LOVED IT BECAUSE OF THAT FUCKING SCENE.

I was like omg, I love British television. And it pissed me off for awhile cause I couldn't even remember the name of the show.

Come to find out, that was actually GINA! It was Gina that was making out with another woman. That's so fucking GREAT you have no idea xD

In other news, my Parker obsession has reached an entirely new level:


TwentyPoundsOfCrazy - A YouTube Channel completely dedicated to Parker from Leverage

Fear it, I'm fucking insane. I swear to god.

( Also I ask if you do subscribe to it that you do not in anyway talk about my personal life on there, thats what my dropvids account is for, and I do not wish to be kicked off there again. Thanks )

Labels: british television, coupling, gina bellman, lesbian, leverage, obsessions, parker, youtube

My name is Mary. I'm a 24 year old creative mess. I like to tell stories in anyway that I can, though mostly through visual artwork. I enjoy film editing, writing, modeling, photography, dancing, and website design. I'm a lesbian. I'm bipolar. I'm stronger than I usually give myself credit for. I'm a recovering drug addict. I'm passionate as all hell. I'm a beautiful disaster. I want to be free. I want to fly.

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