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Let's make one thing perfectly clear... I've always been this way. With my fandoms like Buffy and Xena anyway, I used to go completely overboard like what I've been doing with Parker from Leverage. I've always always done this.

So why am I suddenly getting recognized for it?

It's odd, to be honest. I do all this shit just because it makes me happy, entertains me, and keeps me off drugs apparently. Well, at least it has for over two weeks now. That will probably change in, oh, a couple days when I start to really feign. I've been able to keep it under control for the most part thus far. But I'm starting to get anxious, and it's making it hard to concentrate on the fandom stuff anymore.

Moving on though...

First, someone from Leverage contacts me.

Now, a representative of TNT contacts me.

They saw my channel and wanted to send me something Leverage related like a mug or a poster. I was like, wait, seriously? Even TNT noticed my channel? Jesus Christ lol.

Of course, I picked the poster. It's so going in my livingroom.

Hopefully next will be Beth, cause I'm still trying to find a way to get in contact with her. When I wrote back TNT I asked if they had any contact information like an email address or P.O Box, and I explained about the website deal.

We'll see.

I don't know, I'm just not used to this much exposure due to just my fan status. I mean my modeling, my porn, my stripping, my vlogs... yeah I get that. Most of it's sexual and the whole world is obsessed with sexuality.

But my obsessive fanness? Seriously?

I'm not complaining, to be honest I fucking love it. I just never expected it. I still can't quite wrap my mind around the concept.

Anyway, I'm gonna start replying to all your comments in my journal entries cause ya'll never go back and look at the comments I've noticed.

v1cious said...
those pictures are awesome. how do you find time to do all this?

oh, and i see what you're saying about TNT now. i still haven't found time to watch Leverage.

How do I find the time? Well, it all has to do with a strategic battle plan which first and formost includes not having a social life to speak of. lol.

And make the time :] The episodes are avaiable to watch and/or download online. FYI... lol.

I'm having fun currupting people into my fandom. Muhaha. Fear me.

Labels: fandoms, leverage, tnt, youtube

Cause really, of course my camera would die in the middle of my stupid presentation on Parker's questionable sanity. OF FUCKING COURSE.

I procrastinate forever about actually putting together this video, and when I finally get around to it, it dies on me.

Thank you, you piece of shit I'd love to throw in the trash but can't because I don't have a replacement for yet.

Not that it matter's much, I still have to wait until someone posts the video for this weeks episode so I can download it, because I need one of those clips in my presentation to back up one of my statements.

Still. Grr.

Though, in other completely random news, in my procrastination period I ended up making pretties:

( Click To Full Size )







Regardless, I want to get this done. Damnit.

Also, someone commented to my last post and thought I was going to be working for TNT. That would be false. I will not and probably never get paid by them or the people that make Leverage. They are just trying to reach out to the fanbase and give a little extras so I pretty much can continue promoting them at no charge to them.

However, if I end up getting in contact with Beth and she accepts my offer to build her a website, then I would be working for her.

Though once again, not the show nor the broadcasting network.

I'm just possibly getting some extra shit because I'm a crazy fanatic, that's all.

Speaking of Leverage though, this week's episode was funny as fuck. Seriously. Parker telling the bridesmaid she looked fat, and her pretending to be drunk and looking for Hardison to have sex with... just too funny. Also, Eliot bitching about how he cant look for the money or basically do anything else (except ending up beating the shit out of "the butcher") because he needs to cook for 200 people. LMAO.

Sigh, maybe it's got enough charge to finish the video now, as long as I don't keep fucking up and having to redo my own sentences because apparently I can think something but it usually never comes out of my mouth correctly.

Labels: camera, leverage, parker, photography, youtube

I did mention earlier I'd end up being labeled as "the crazy Parker fanatic" eventually right? Well, even though I'm not called THAT -- my obsession with Parker ended up getting me noticed by the show.

Yeah, seriously. I couldn't believe it either.

My sleeps been so fucked up recently I woke up at 9:30 tonight and wasn't sure if it was 9am or 9pm... lol. That's bad. Considering I need to get my ass to work on Wednesday. Really I should work tomorrow, but that would mean I miss Leverage and um, no.

So I wake up, half asleep and stumble my ass to the computer to see how many comments I got on all my Parker ships wallpapers. I made a wallpaper for Parker/Hardison, Parker/Eliot, Parker/Sophie and Parker/Nate (which I don't understand THAT pairing, but I know some people like it so I did it anyway).

Well, I have like fifteen comments (I'm good, what can I say? haha), and I check all of those. Then I see I have a new email.

I had to read the first line over like, I kid you not, about three times. I was like "wait a minute, I must still be really fucking sleepy cause I think that just said that this was from someone who works on/is affiliated with Leverage"

Read it over a couple times, I wasn't wrong, it really said that.

I didn't think in a million years I'd actually get contacted by the show. I won't say specifically who it was per his request, but I'm really flattered, like, insanely so.

Well, I guess they really like the channel I set up for Parker and is going to forward the link to Beth (Riesgraf) so she can check it out herself. I also got offered to be helped out with my channel, and be given "supplemental materials for it". Seriously, people.

I'm excited, shit like this never happens to me. If I actually am able to get in contact with Beth and extend my offer to build her an official website, and if she accepts, do you even UNDERSTAND how much exposure that is for me alone?

So, I'm a happy fucking bitch right now.

Finally, my crazy obsessions actually amount to something. lmao!

Labels: beth riesgraf, leverage, obsessions, parker, website design, youtube

Does anyone remember the video I made on YouTube awhile back called "I Want My Obsessions Back"?

Well, obviously I have them back. I know most people think I'm certifiably insane, getting caught up in fictional worlds, characters, or stories. What people don't seem to understand is that I am the most happiest when I am. When I don't have to focus on how much bullshit there is in life, or how while I'm managing to finally support myself in only the matter of working one day a week because I have a problem with trying to live past my means, then I'm perfectly happy.

On a side note, it also tends to be my anti-drug. Imagine that.

I have had absolutely no urges to do meth in almost the last week. I've been so caught up in being a Parker-obsessed weirdo, thus labeling me as the Crazy Parker Fanatic (not that anyone has said that, but I'm sure it's coming), that I don't want to smoke. At all.

And it's interesting really. I used to say I smoked because it got me more focused, and I could finish more tasks that way, and while it's true and maybe it would help me be even more of a crazy Leverage person, I just don't want to.

Partly, because while I can make icons/wallpapers/fan videos while I'm high, I can't focus enough to write fanfiction. I wrote a chapter of my Bellatrix one once while high, and when I was sober ended up reading it and throwing it out because it was such epic crap. When I write I'm very big on incooperating and describing a character's manerisms, quirks, facial expressions... all the little things that most people leave unnoticed. I have to fully be in the characters mind and play out the scene in my head a couple times before I can correctly and acuratly descibe what I saw in my head, because I want other people to see it too.

On the downside, however, my obsessions make me not want to do anything else but. Work? Pfft, only to get my rent and food money (cigarettes too, but that goes without saying). I only worked Friday last week. This week, I only worked Friday too. Made $500 and burned the fuck out.

I had an urge to start a Leverage blog, but I won't. I need to stop overloading myself with a bunch of projects, I tend to hang myself that way. I have the YouTube channel, which I'm doing fabulously on by the way, already ten video's up. Seven episode videos (theres only been six episodes aired, but "The Stork Job" had to be split into two parts for obvious reasons if you've seen it), two fan videos, and an introduction video by me for the channel. I'm also still in the middle of a Parker/Sophie fanfic, and as of right now have writer's block which is kicking my ass. Do you guys remember the story arc thing they used to teach you in school?

__/\__

That thing, lol. But yeah, got up to the peak, and now I'm stuck. Fail.

I should probably take a nap and fix my sleep schedule. Yesterday I got home from work, passed the fuck out drunk as hell, but then woke up three hours later and couldn't get back to sleep until 3:30pm. Hence the no working. I swear I really was planning to go... >.>

Oh, fantastic idea hitting me!

When the season is over, I'm planning on making Parker ship videos for every character (to satisfy everyone's pairings) and I think for the Parker/Eliot I want "Poker Face" cause it takes about gambling and Texas (where Eliot is from). Hm, I must make a note of that somewhere. I'm not much looking forward to the Parker/Nate video, I think that would just be icky, and don't understand the pairing at all. I can see Parker/Hardison, Parker/Eliot, and Parker/Sophie easily, but Parker and NATE? Really? Seriously? Come on now. But whatever.

Moving along now... until next time.

Labels: drugs, eliot, fan videos, fanfiction, hardison, lady gaga, leverage, nate, obsessions, parker, poker face, sophie, youtube

So excuse me while I "omg, wtf, flashback" for like, a half a second.

So you all know my obsession with the new series Leverage. So, it should be no surprise that I was randomly looking up the other actors works on YouTube.

Well, I get to Gina Bellman, and it says, "Coupling Lesbian Scene" so of course I'm like, ohh... hot.

I click on it and what do I get?

THE FREAKING BRITISH TV SERIES EPISODE I RANDOMLY STUMBLED UPON A COUPLE MONTHS AGO ON HBO AND DECIDED I LOVED IT BECAUSE OF THAT FUCKING SCENE.

I was like omg, I love British television. And it pissed me off for awhile cause I couldn't even remember the name of the show.

Come to find out, that was actually GINA! It was Gina that was making out with another woman. That's so fucking GREAT you have no idea xD

In other news, my Parker obsession has reached an entirely new level:


TwentyPoundsOfCrazy - A YouTube Channel completely dedicated to Parker from Leverage

Fear it, I'm fucking insane. I swear to god.

( Also I ask if you do subscribe to it that you do not in anyway talk about my personal life on there, thats what my dropvids account is for, and I do not wish to be kicked off there again. Thanks )

Labels: british television, coupling, gina bellman, lesbian, leverage, obsessions, parker, youtube

Let's make one thing perfectly clear... I've always been this way. With my fandoms like Buffy and Xena anyway, I used to go completely overboard like what I've been doing with Parker from Leverage. I've always always done this.

So why am I suddenly getting recognized for it?

It's odd, to be honest. I do all this shit just because it makes me happy, entertains me, and keeps me off drugs apparently. Well, at least it has for over two weeks now. That will probably change in, oh, a couple days when I start to really feign. I've been able to keep it under control for the most part thus far. But I'm starting to get anxious, and it's making it hard to concentrate on the fandom stuff anymore.

Moving on though...

First, someone from Leverage contacts me.

Now, a representative of TNT contacts me.

They saw my channel and wanted to send me something Leverage related like a mug or a poster. I was like, wait, seriously? Even TNT noticed my channel? Jesus Christ lol.

Of course, I picked the poster. It's so going in my livingroom.

Hopefully next will be Beth, cause I'm still trying to find a way to get in contact with her. When I wrote back TNT I asked if they had any contact information like an email address or P.O Box, and I explained about the website deal.

We'll see.

I don't know, I'm just not used to this much exposure due to just my fan status. I mean my modeling, my porn, my stripping, my vlogs... yeah I get that. Most of it's sexual and the whole world is obsessed with sexuality.

But my obsessive fanness? Seriously?

I'm not complaining, to be honest I fucking love it. I just never expected it. I still can't quite wrap my mind around the concept.

Anyway, I'm gonna start replying to all your comments in my journal entries cause ya'll never go back and look at the comments I've noticed.

v1cious said...
those pictures are awesome. how do you find time to do all this?

oh, and i see what you're saying about TNT now. i still haven't found time to watch Leverage.

How do I find the time? Well, it all has to do with a strategic battle plan which first and formost includes not having a social life to speak of. lol.

And make the time :] The episodes are avaiable to watch and/or download online. FYI... lol.

I'm having fun currupting people into my fandom. Muhaha. Fear me.

Labels: fandoms, leverage, tnt, youtube

Cause really, of course my camera would die in the middle of my stupid presentation on Parker's questionable sanity. OF FUCKING COURSE.

I procrastinate forever about actually putting together this video, and when I finally get around to it, it dies on me.

Thank you, you piece of shit I'd love to throw in the trash but can't because I don't have a replacement for yet.

Not that it matter's much, I still have to wait until someone posts the video for this weeks episode so I can download it, because I need one of those clips in my presentation to back up one of my statements.

Still. Grr.

Though, in other completely random news, in my procrastination period I ended up making pretties:

( Click To Full Size )







Regardless, I want to get this done. Damnit.

Also, someone commented to my last post and thought I was going to be working for TNT. That would be false. I will not and probably never get paid by them or the people that make Leverage. They are just trying to reach out to the fanbase and give a little extras so I pretty much can continue promoting them at no charge to them.

However, if I end up getting in contact with Beth and she accepts my offer to build her a website, then I would be working for her.

Though once again, not the show nor the broadcasting network.

I'm just possibly getting some extra shit because I'm a crazy fanatic, that's all.

Speaking of Leverage though, this week's episode was funny as fuck. Seriously. Parker telling the bridesmaid she looked fat, and her pretending to be drunk and looking for Hardison to have sex with... just too funny. Also, Eliot bitching about how he cant look for the money or basically do anything else (except ending up beating the shit out of "the butcher") because he needs to cook for 200 people. LMAO.

Sigh, maybe it's got enough charge to finish the video now, as long as I don't keep fucking up and having to redo my own sentences because apparently I can think something but it usually never comes out of my mouth correctly.

Labels: camera, leverage, parker, photography, youtube

I did mention earlier I'd end up being labeled as "the crazy Parker fanatic" eventually right? Well, even though I'm not called THAT -- my obsession with Parker ended up getting me noticed by the show.

Yeah, seriously. I couldn't believe it either.

My sleeps been so fucked up recently I woke up at 9:30 tonight and wasn't sure if it was 9am or 9pm... lol. That's bad. Considering I need to get my ass to work on Wednesday. Really I should work tomorrow, but that would mean I miss Leverage and um, no.

So I wake up, half asleep and stumble my ass to the computer to see how many comments I got on all my Parker ships wallpapers. I made a wallpaper for Parker/Hardison, Parker/Eliot, Parker/Sophie and Parker/Nate (which I don't understand THAT pairing, but I know some people like it so I did it anyway).

Well, I have like fifteen comments (I'm good, what can I say? haha), and I check all of those. Then I see I have a new email.

I had to read the first line over like, I kid you not, about three times. I was like "wait a minute, I must still be really fucking sleepy cause I think that just said that this was from someone who works on/is affiliated with Leverage"

Read it over a couple times, I wasn't wrong, it really said that.

I didn't think in a million years I'd actually get contacted by the show. I won't say specifically who it was per his request, but I'm really flattered, like, insanely so.

Well, I guess they really like the channel I set up for Parker and is going to forward the link to Beth (Riesgraf) so she can check it out herself. I also got offered to be helped out with my channel, and be given "supplemental materials for it". Seriously, people.

I'm excited, shit like this never happens to me. If I actually am able to get in contact with Beth and extend my offer to build her an official website, and if she accepts, do you even UNDERSTAND how much exposure that is for me alone?

So, I'm a happy fucking bitch right now.

Finally, my crazy obsessions actually amount to something. lmao!

Labels: beth riesgraf, leverage, obsessions, parker, website design, youtube

Does anyone remember the video I made on YouTube awhile back called "I Want My Obsessions Back"?

Well, obviously I have them back. I know most people think I'm certifiably insane, getting caught up in fictional worlds, characters, or stories. What people don't seem to understand is that I am the most happiest when I am. When I don't have to focus on how much bullshit there is in life, or how while I'm managing to finally support myself in only the matter of working one day a week because I have a problem with trying to live past my means, then I'm perfectly happy.

On a side note, it also tends to be my anti-drug. Imagine that.

I have had absolutely no urges to do meth in almost the last week. I've been so caught up in being a Parker-obsessed weirdo, thus labeling me as the Crazy Parker Fanatic (not that anyone has said that, but I'm sure it's coming), that I don't want to smoke. At all.

And it's interesting really. I used to say I smoked because it got me more focused, and I could finish more tasks that way, and while it's true and maybe it would help me be even more of a crazy Leverage person, I just don't want to.

Partly, because while I can make icons/wallpapers/fan videos while I'm high, I can't focus enough to write fanfiction. I wrote a chapter of my Bellatrix one once while high, and when I was sober ended up reading it and throwing it out because it was such epic crap. When I write I'm very big on incooperating and describing a character's manerisms, quirks, facial expressions... all the little things that most people leave unnoticed. I have to fully be in the characters mind and play out the scene in my head a couple times before I can correctly and acuratly descibe what I saw in my head, because I want other people to see it too.

On the downside, however, my obsessions make me not want to do anything else but. Work? Pfft, only to get my rent and food money (cigarettes too, but that goes without saying). I only worked Friday last week. This week, I only worked Friday too. Made $500 and burned the fuck out.

I had an urge to start a Leverage blog, but I won't. I need to stop overloading myself with a bunch of projects, I tend to hang myself that way. I have the YouTube channel, which I'm doing fabulously on by the way, already ten video's up. Seven episode videos (theres only been six episodes aired, but "The Stork Job" had to be split into two parts for obvious reasons if you've seen it), two fan videos, and an introduction video by me for the channel. I'm also still in the middle of a Parker/Sophie fanfic, and as of right now have writer's block which is kicking my ass. Do you guys remember the story arc thing they used to teach you in school?

__/\__

That thing, lol. But yeah, got up to the peak, and now I'm stuck. Fail.

I should probably take a nap and fix my sleep schedule. Yesterday I got home from work, passed the fuck out drunk as hell, but then woke up three hours later and couldn't get back to sleep until 3:30pm. Hence the no working. I swear I really was planning to go... >.>

Oh, fantastic idea hitting me!

When the season is over, I'm planning on making Parker ship videos for every character (to satisfy everyone's pairings) and I think for the Parker/Eliot I want "Poker Face" cause it takes about gambling and Texas (where Eliot is from). Hm, I must make a note of that somewhere. I'm not much looking forward to the Parker/Nate video, I think that would just be icky, and don't understand the pairing at all. I can see Parker/Hardison, Parker/Eliot, and Parker/Sophie easily, but Parker and NATE? Really? Seriously? Come on now. But whatever.

Moving along now... until next time.

Labels: drugs, eliot, fan videos, fanfiction, hardison, lady gaga, leverage, nate, obsessions, parker, poker face, sophie, youtube

So excuse me while I "omg, wtf, flashback" for like, a half a second.

So you all know my obsession with the new series Leverage. So, it should be no surprise that I was randomly looking up the other actors works on YouTube.

Well, I get to Gina Bellman, and it says, "Coupling Lesbian Scene" so of course I'm like, ohh... hot.

I click on it and what do I get?

THE FREAKING BRITISH TV SERIES EPISODE I RANDOMLY STUMBLED UPON A COUPLE MONTHS AGO ON HBO AND DECIDED I LOVED IT BECAUSE OF THAT FUCKING SCENE.

I was like omg, I love British television. And it pissed me off for awhile cause I couldn't even remember the name of the show.

Come to find out, that was actually GINA! It was Gina that was making out with another woman. That's so fucking GREAT you have no idea xD

In other news, my Parker obsession has reached an entirely new level:


TwentyPoundsOfCrazy - A YouTube Channel completely dedicated to Parker from Leverage

Fear it, I'm fucking insane. I swear to god.

( Also I ask if you do subscribe to it that you do not in anyway talk about my personal life on there, thats what my dropvids account is for, and I do not wish to be kicked off there again. Thanks )

Labels: british television, coupling, gina bellman, lesbian, leverage, obsessions, parker, youtube

My name is Mary. I'm a 24 year old creative mess. I like to tell stories in anyway that I can, though mostly through visual artwork. I enjoy film editing, writing, modeling, photography, dancing, and website design. I'm a lesbian. I'm bipolar. I'm stronger than I usually give myself credit for. I'm a recovering drug addict. I'm passionate as all hell. I'm a beautiful disaster. I want to be free. I want to fly.

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